Don't know what to do
Jus 2 days ago me and my girlfriend of 13 years jus broke up. We have 1 child together n she has 2 kids from another man I've been taking care for the last 13 years. Well her son our oldest son who's 16 got into a little but physical altercation. He was being disrespectful and has been to me and her so I snatch him up by his collar and told him he needs to chill out next thing I know he rushed me thru a table n I put him in headlock n told him to cool out and why the hell he thinks he can put his hands on me and all of a sudden mom comes running telling me y did I hit her son n I need to leave and never come back. They want nothing to do with me. I'm devastated I'm hurt I don't know what to do or think. I feel I wasn't wrong for being upset with him for being disrespectful to me and his mother and doesn't care how he talks to us and treats us. I really love them all. I Kno I have anger issues I'm working on. We have been through a lot together. It's been a really rough road but I wouldn't give them up for anything. What do I do
Have you tried to talk to her after that?
@doIt777
Yes I have n wants not to talk at all. I don't want to over call or text or anything like that so I figured wgive them space.
I am in a relationship for 16 years. I have 4 kids that he is not the father of. My rule was never have him get involved with me and my kids arguments. Yes it is hard for him but it works. Try to talk to her and see if you can make that agreement.
@Francisco86
Hello there. I'm very sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult situation right now. I can imagine how upsetting this must be. Have you reached out to other family members to discuss the situation?
@Gina2222
Yes but she hasn't talked to him and he family isn't people to help nor talk too
@Francisco86
I agree, you weren't wrong in being upset by his behaviour and disrespect. However, initiating (collar) a physical altercation with your teenager is never a good idea. They aren't at their best in making rational choices at that age and it escalated beyond even your expectations.
I hear you loud and clear that you love all of them really. I would like to remind you that the young man may have been equally shocked at being physically provoked, then tackled within the safety of family. If mom had somehow tried to justify or defend your actions at the time, it could have led to further alienation and feeling of abadonment in the young teenage mind.
Unfortunately, regardless of the circumstances, you were the only adult in the picture, and fully in your parental role while calling him out on his behaviour. While he shares equal participation in the physical altercation, he shares none of the responsibility.
Can I suggest taking a few moments to calm yourself, and see whether you'd like to word an appropriate apology to her (and him), taking responsibility for making a mistake.
Even the best among us make mistakes; it takes courage to own up to them and stand steady to correct them.
I will do that. Thank you. I appreciate your honesty and advice.