Emotionally manipulative ex
My ex has been bombarding my inbox with long emails. That's 8 in the last 9 days, since I ended the relationship and asked him to stop contacting me.
I have only replied once, with a long, detailed letter explaining why I made the decision to leave. I only did this because his emails suggested that he didn't understand why I ended it.
His emails have a mixture of acceptance, denial, begging for me to come back, insulting me, blaming me for everything that happened in the relationship, labelling me as selfish and cold, claiming I have betrayed him.
I know he is deflecting, but these emails still cut me up. These claims, these horrible characteristics that he is claiming I have are the same chararcteristics that he displayed throughout the relationship and what caused me to eventually walk away (after 3 months of on and off while we tried to work through things).
His emails have moved on from begging for me back and are now more aimed towards hurting me.
They are really hurting me and having an effect on my mental health. I cannot help but read the emails. If I dont read them I keep thinking about the unread email constantly and stress over it until I finally give in and read it.
My question is ... Do I ask him to stop, or do I keep ignoring him and hope that he goes away?
@dynamicWater6640
Every time you respond, you are rewarding him with your attention. Of course his words cut you. They are designed to. He is looking for a response and will manipulate you until he gets one.
Block. Do not acknowledge. Don't even bother to say you won't acknowledge. He will go away. Just be prepared that he may step up his efforts before he does. Stay strong. No response. Nothing.
I say this from experience.
@Mirea Reading your response really helped me right now. Thanks.
@RespectfulLady
I'm so glad. :)
@Mirea :)
@Mirea
Thank you Mirea, that really helped me.
I am dreading anymore emails from him. I really hope this is the last of it.
I am trying my best not to respond.
... Although I do want to just tell him to f**k off and stop being such an a**hole... But it won't do any good. He has become completely delusional...
@dynamicWater6640
You may be surprised at how satisfying it is to not respond. There is peace there. Let him twist in the wind. You don't have to.
Update...
He threatened me with suicide on Tuesday night. My first instinct was to call him, but i knew better, because he had been emotionally blackmailing me for a while now. So I tried to contact a third party to help. The only number I had was his sisters, who lives in London (I'm in Australia), and went straight to voicemail. I then stalked his friend to find his business website and message him via that, and still haven't gotten a reply from him. And I don't have Facebook. So as a last resort I called an ambulance to go to his house.
I didn't hear a word from him that night not the next day. I got a friend to call his phone and pretend to be a telemarketer, only to have the phone ring out and go to voicemail. Worried, i then called the local hospital and enquired if he was a admitted the night before. That put my mind at ease. He must be pissed of that I sent an ambulance to his house when he was obviously the suicide attempt.
Later that afternoon I recieved a very long and aggressive email from an unknown friend, claiming i am a disgusting person for calling an ambulance on him and that i do not deserve someone who is willing to sacrifice their life for me, a delusional perception of suicide that I found quite disturbing.
This clarified everything.
I bought an app which blocks all texts and messages and didn't notify me when sunsetting had been blocked. I woke up this morning feeling at peace and clear headed for the first time in a long time.
I can see I have missed a few words here and there.
For clarify...
- he wasn't admitted to hospital. In fact, he wasn't even at home when the ambulance arrived
- not hearing from him that night of the next day i i assumed he was pissed off that i called him out on his fake suicide attempt
- it was an unknown friend of his that texted me
I have now told him that if he continues I will file a restraining order on him. End of the line. This had gotten too far out of hand.
@dynamicWater6640 I think you should very politely explain to him how you feel about this and let him know what he is doing is not acceptable according to you. Tell him to stop and even after this if he doesn't then it's better to ignore him or just simply block him.
@Kaishi29
I did just that, on Thursday evening, because things were getting out of control. It was astern but respectable conversation, and actually mini counseling session for him by me. We talked a list of things out. And he has stopped.
He sent one last email, apologizing for the way he has acting towards me during the break up. That really have me a good sense of closure.
It has been 3 entire days without contact and I can feel myself going through the mourning period now, at my own pace.
