Fight or go ?
Hi everyone ! So why i am here ? i need advice. It’s hard to describe whats up but i try : since 5 weeks i am in a new relationship. It started so great. until i mentioned i would be up for a threesome with us and a pretty good girlfriend we know. Now she did say no but he spends more and more time with her. To convince her, he said. Then it’s “i need to try her alone”. wtf ? he grabbed my fantasy and twisted it to please him. Also i think he’s falling in love with her. I am “the bi***y one now cuz of course i am sad and mad. i asked him and he is not sure what’s going on Simple question: should i decide for him and leave him ? so he got no pressure to decide. maybe then he sees ? Or what else can i do ? talking things out is no option. thanx in advance 🙂
@Traurige Why is talking things out not an option? If you aren't able to talk to your partner, that seems like a bigger issue. -___- Just tell him you wanted to spice things up, but are still only comfortable with something monogamous. If that's a dealbreaker for him, then you will know you aren't compatible.
Hello,
I may not be in the same situation but I kind of understand what are you feeling right now. I know its very confusing to be in this way. May be you can take some time and decide what you want. You may not be able to decide for him because may after certain while he will also understand what he wants. I know I may not be the person to suggest you something good but just know you are not a bad person. You genuinely care about this relationship and that is why it is bothering you. And it is okay to feel this way.
You might sit down and write out a boundaries and consequences list. An example would be “1. No sex without each other. Consequence is end of the relationship.” And whatever else comes to mind. You can do simple ones too to help you get a good list going. Like “No yelling. Consequence is a cool off and retry at a set time tomorrow.” The boundaries are for the relationship so they should apply to both of you. It’s less about controlling his actions and more about respecting each other and the relationship and knowing where that line actually is so no one is guessing.