First breakup, feeling empty

I just got dumped by my boyfriend right before our 1 year anniversary. Im feeling so many different feelings right now. One moment I’m sobbing and hurt, the next I’m in denial and think that maybe if I message him he’ll change his mind, the next I’m feeling better and his decision makes sense to me. I was so blindsided by it and thought that everything was going so well, until I find out that he doesn’t think he knows what love is and doesn’t think he’s truly in love with me. I try to rationalize it by blaming it on his divorced parents and *** family life growing up, but they were still his actions. This is my first serious relationship and I fully opened my heart up to him. Im scared that this will make me doubt my instincts in the future. Im scared at the thought of ever dating again and being hurt again. I always thought that people crying over breakups were being so dramatic, but it truly is the worst thing I’ve been through so far. I feel this empty hole and I so badly want to fill it with meaningless sex and alcohol. I hate that and I don’t want to do those things but I don’t know how else to cope.