Friends after a breakup?
My ex and I recently split after 3 and a half years, it was clean and more or less neutral, were going down different paths career wise and after being long distance for almost a year with no indication of when it will end, we decided it was for the best. She also mentioned that maybe in the future we could try again.
Ive never been friends with an ex before, this is my first 'proper' relationship, Ive never had a break up like this, all of my previous breakups involved me getting blocked on pretty much everything, so I got all the closure I needed then and there. But all I feel now is uncertainty and hope, I still have feelings for her, I was willing to keep going. Were not on speaking terms, she wants time to figure herself out and I said I do to, she wants to work on herself and just experience single life.
Its been 3ish weeks and it's sending my anxiety and depression into overdrive, I keep overthinking and overanalysing. Seeing the person I cherished for so long posting and talking to other people (especially guys) and not being able to do the same really hurts my heart. I've found myself stalking most social media's, I find things without context and hurt myself. Ive unfollowed her on Instagram and various other things, I just dont know how this friend thing is going to work? If I remove her on totally everything will it ruin my chances of ever reconnecting? Why do I have this hope?
@Luftwaffle
seeing things you don't to on social media can hurt so much. It's really hard not to look and see things that make it seem like they're over it. which isn't fun at all when you're not.
I guess what you need to decide is, why do I want to stay friends with this person, will this friendship be better or worse for my mental health, and what is the end goal for us staying friends?
You're extremely strong and brave for wanting it, and I commend you and envy you.
@helpfulPond3973 It wasn't a bad split, and even she said that, if the situation arises, we could try again. Am I just clinging onto false hope? I have good job prospects in her area after my course. I'm just not ready to let this person who I've cherished for 4 years vanish from my life, especially if I delete them. Both prospects hurt.
@Luftwaffle
you need to do what's best for you, you can try to be friends if you need them in your life. However, if you see holding on to her is causing you more mental anguish than a clean split then you need to chose yourself. It's a hard decision to make and hard to get used to if your used to them being part of your daily life