Girlfriend has given up, what do I do?
Trevor, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know 3 years seems like a long time, but it would be worse to commit totally and then feel trapped in a relationship that just doesn't work anymore. If talking is not working, you don't have much choice. No one can tell you what to do, but I think if you search your heart you will know and then you have to summon the courage to follow through.
There are an ocean of people who truly want the love and affection you are ready to give, and it is rare to have a guy talk about the cuddling part. Lots of girls long for that. But, there is chemistry when it works, and only you can decide when that happens.
I wish you well, and we here at 7C are on your side. I raise a toast to a happy and peaceful New 2018 for you.
@MusicCandy
thanks for the response, I
Take a week break from the relationship. Always helps.
Relax, you need time she needs more time. Focus on yourself.
@Trevor1989
This reminds me of women who also go "why men are all the same aw my gawd". You can't base an entire party of women simply based on a shitty relationship. I'm sorry but is really dumb.
But this aside. Have you thought she really doesn't pay attention because maybe you have really high expectations? if you want a long relationship you have to understand people have highs and lows. Sometimes crap happens in life and you can't even get out of bed to shower. Maybe she feels really pressured with your expectation of her giving you sex, being a skinny bitch and always giving attention.
Women like any human being want a break. They sometimes just want to watch tv, talk with their friends, and not focous 24/7 "what does he want". Because realistically speaking do you that ? Do you constantly worry 24/7 with what she wants? ofc not. Relationships don't work that way.
A relationship is handling the flaws of each other with respect. Understanding no one is perfect, being a man or women.
I'm just sorry to break that fantasy but no woman will be that way. Neither will any man.
She's probably unhappy with what you want and are expecting from her. Just like you're unhappy since she can't make your expectations become a reality.
In summary from all of this: You need to really have a different view on relationships, is commitment and respect that matters not artificial topics. And in this case move on. You're unhappy and she clearly is aswell.
As someone who is in a relationship of 3 years aswell with a wonderfull guy, I can say that it takes patience and respect to be happy. So I hope one day you can find a relationship where you can give that and receive that.
Best of luck.
@Booklover95
totally feel like I upsetted you, I didnt mean to offend anyone with my rant. I definitely do not think all women are the same and nor do I really care if she puts on weight, I have a history of dating bigger girls. Does not bother me in the least. Shes a beautiful girl. But Im just bothered by the fact that I try so hard and I do think about her feelings and making her happy pretty well all the time since Ive been feeling like this, do I think Im perfect no, but I know any other girl would be over the moon to have a guy like me.
@Trevor1989
Not upset I just thought your views on the situation weren't very realistic. Things like the weight for example. Since you said it didn't bother you but then how "she's different" or the attention part if I'm making sense.
By what I read I'm not saying you're not trying. I just think you have very high expectations that aren't very realistic you know?
Life keeps going and people change. Sometimes priorities change aswell.
Maybe she's in a really low part in her life. Have you asked her how she feels? Like her self esteem?
Maybe that is the issue. Is hard to love someone else if we don't feel good about ourselves.
You should try a very honest conversation and try to understand why she's feeling and acting this way. And if you see that things are just going wrong , that she can't be honest with you and doesn't work on things, you should move on.
Is always better to be single than in a bad relationship where you just feel unhappy all the time.
Hope everything goes well
Hi I to am going through this except it's me who doesn't want sex, I'm a single working mum so as u can imagine childcare is hard and I'm always tired so sometimes I have to cancel, I've just had to cancel tonight as I had problems at work and have been at work all night and looking after my child today so I'm knackered and he has kicked off at me about it, he moans that we don't have sex yet the last time we did he said it was like sleeping with a corpse, this hurt as I have depression which he knows about and I am getting help for it now maybe your gf is just feeling low about herself if u can take her out without the phones and somewhere where u can talk about how u feel and how she feels I wish he would do that with me but he won't it's one rule for him when he has his kids and one rule for me when I'm all my child has got good luck and let us know how u get on
@warmheartedAvocado8286
This answer is perfect tbh
Also I'm so sorry he said such a cruel thing to you. You're doing your very best. Taking care of a child is a big task and can really take a tool on you. Just remember you're doing it everyday and giving it your all to your child, now that is beautiful!
Your partner could be a bit more sensitive. Maybe offer some help with things? And if he does measure his words a bit more because that is... not a very nice thing to say, can damage a person's self esteem.
And I agree with what you said aswell, who doesn't like sex? Is an amazing thing. But sometimes life makes people so stressed so sex is the last thing your body and mind wants.
But I hope it gets better for you! :)
@Booklover95 to be quite honest I don't think it will his having ago at me now saying I'm going to meet some bloke as I'm not answering his messages his right I am but it's a police officer as my place of work has been broken into and they taken some computers I've told him this and he says I'm lying but I can't screen shot the messages and send them in as it's against our company policy and he knows that I've tried calling him and he won't answer the phone it's like having a moody teenager
@Trevor1989 HOW OLD ARE U????????
@Trevor1989
I've heard that it's common in relationships to get comfortable and in a rut. There does have to be effort made to have common goals like healthy lifestyles etc.
I have zero advice for her priorities. They are her priorities. You can't change them. Putting pressure on her to change them will push her away more probably.
you could try suggesting doing an activity together that encourages healthy lifestyle? Cook healthy meals. Do a couples bootcamp. No idea what fits for you.
