Girlfriend is self destroying herself and our relationship
Her are the main details. I'm 23 my partner is 19. We had been dating about 7 months and had decided to move in together. She was the one who suggested it. When we had finally moved in together. Everything was ok until I had noticed my partner started to drink more and more. (Note in the United States drinking age is 21) so concerned I had asked her if she was ok and had told her it was best to slow down I had also found out she was mixing her anti anxietymeds with alcohol. As days went on she continued to drink heavier, started to hang out with old bad friends and started arguments with me saying how I don't do anything for her and she feels that I'm trying to change her and control her, stopping her from experiencing life. I had try to show her I was not trying to change anything about her because I feel in love with her but drinking this heavy was not her and the these friends were getting her alcohol and taking her out. About 2 weeks ago I had came home from work with her brother and we had came home to see, she was 2 bottles of wine down and working on a third one. She started to say she hates me and she wants to cheat on me then she changes when she is sober saying she loves me and she wants to be better. She got blacked out drunk for the next two days. And didn't remember a thing. A week ago I had came home after work and the apartment was empty, she had got her friends to come in and move her out and took everything with her. Since then we have sat down and talked about our lease and we had agreed that we would break the lease, but now she text me everyday asking if I have any update on the lease even tho I tell her I will update her as soon as I know. But its every single day I just don't know what she wants anymore? Like I still love her and this all happened out of no where, she is making some terrible decisions and her family reaches out to me because they feel like she's not the same anymore. She claims that she's doing ok when anyone ask but she tried to kill herself last Friday. Can someone please help me.
Buddy this isn’t your fault. It sounds like you were a tool to her to get alcohol and feed into her bad habits. When you started to show her that you care and she was destroying herself, she pulled away. You deserve better than this! You can let her know that you’re there for her if she needs to talk/needs something, but she’s only going to make you feel horrible because she has personal problems you probably can’t help her with. Don’t tie yourself or your happiness to her. If it was real, she’ll come back. It sounds like she needs some real professional help and you tried to let her know she was cared for. That’s the best you can do at this point. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Best of luck <3