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Having trouble letting go

User Profile: proactiveKiwi4290
proactiveKiwi4290 July 13th, 2015

A quick background: my (ex) husband and I married in 2004. He has been to 2 tours to Iraq. He came home in 2005 and things were pretty good. In 2006 we had a really bad fight, but could have been easily fixed, instead he moved out. That should have been my first clue that he was a runner. Every argument/fight after that ended with him leaving or looking for a place to rent. In 2009, he had some sort of mental snap and went into a rage and hit me. It was my decision to let him come home because I knew that was not my sweet, loving husband and that something must be wrong. He did not receive help, in which I believe he suffered from PTSD. In 2011 we had an argument in which he moved out again. This time he didn't come home, but he did stay with me 90% of the time and claimed to be "working things out". We saw several counselors and none helped. Mostly because he never followed through. He told 3 of them he was moving back home and ended up leaving again shortly after that session, so I think he didn't go back because he lied to them too. So, in the past 4 years he has lied numerous times, went to the titty bar, went to the gay bar (I have no idea why--he's straight), was chasing young girls in their 20's(he's in his 40's), and pretty much blaming me. When I caught him at the titty bar--he filed for a divorce. So in 2014 we divorced. After ALL the hard work I had out into fixing, saving, loving, and forgiving--he ended it YET we tried again last August. For 8 months things were going very well. We started church, the lies were dramatically less, and we had been to counseling with the Pastor. Then I find out he's looking at houses for sale behind my back. Like WTH is he planning on doing? Buying a house and not telling me

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User Profile: proactiveKiwi4290
proactiveKiwi4290 OP July 13th, 2015

I think it cut off my thread before I finished.

So, I guess he was going tobuy a house and not tell me. We had been looking for homes previously to buy together. I guess he had different plans. Anyways, he always starts texting and calling and being really sweet after a week or so. Then he will come around and get my hopes up again. I can't move on and he won't let me, but he won't reconcile either. WTH is wrong with us? I have an obsession with him and he won't let me go either.