He cheated
Hi everyone. I have no family or friends who I can trust with what a going on in my life so I figured I would seek advice here. I have been with my husband for almost 7 years, married almost 3, with 3 wonderful kids. He had an amazing job in our previous state and we had life made. My father in law became crazy so we moved 16 hours away to try to better ourselves away from him. I left all my family to come here and be around his other family. My husband went from this amazing career to being home every day not being able to find work and spiraled into a depression. We had a strained sex life since our oldest was born 5 years ago. We had our last baby in August and he came clean to me about cheating on me when she was 1 month old. He told me 2 months later, he said it was eating him up every day and he couldn't keep it from me any longer. He says the first time he was so drunk he couldn't get it up but the woman had he pants down waiting for it in the back of my car while the other woman he cheated on me with drove. It turns out he had a sexual past with the one driving that I had no idea about. He cheated twice with her, he claims one of the times again he was too drunk to get it up. I've always had horrible self esteem and now I've completely lost myself. He's a great dad, and has been great to me except for these 3 times that happened during one weeks time. I dont know to live past this, if I leave it will destroy our kids. I'm so lost. Thanks for any kind words
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@greenNickel7249 hello, this is a good spot to vent your frustrations. Your dilemma is understandable. In terms of remaining in the relationship, it is paramount to process the infidelity in order to be able to successfully move passed it. Is he willingly to engage in therapy with you? Have either of you identified what was going on in the relationships to contribute to his thinking cheating was an option?
Specific to your self esteem, its important it to internalize the occurrences. In other words, his decision to cheat has minimal to do with you and everything to do with him. It was a choice/decision he made to have extramarital activities, not you.
