He loves me but don

Ive been dealing with this man for 4 years now. Ive dealt with him being touch and go with the mother of his child for years on me. Watching him love someone and claim to love me at the same time is hurtful. But I stayed and I waited. It ended between the two of them and I didnt talk to him for 2 months. He pops back up randomly and tells me how much he loves me and how much he will always be here and blah blah blah. Now he admits hes not looking at us in any other manner but just friends. He admits he doesnt want me out of his life but doesnt want to commit to me as far as a relationship. Im so hurt and broken. Come to find out hes talking to someone completely new now... I dont know how to move on. I dont want this pain but I dont want to lose him in my life at all. I feel so stupid and insecure. Not to mention we too old for these games, we both are about to be 30 and Im over the roller coaster but I really dont want anyone else but him. I feel stuck and used and stupid. I just really ugh. Idk at the point to be honest.