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Help I have so much need to marriage advise

User Profile: JoeCubsJoe
JoeCubsJoe April 13th, 2023

I’ve been married for 10 years and we’ve been together 12.


I do not feel that we connect any more. I feel at best that I have a great friend and at worst at times a terrible roommate. I do not have the answer for you, as I am hitting this same wall currently.


I’ve helped my wife raise 4 kids who are now adults except for the youngest being a Freshman and we have a new house. I have poured my everything in to this marriage to get nothing back anymore.


There is a lot more to it and I can share more, but I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.


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User Profile: SolarGenerator
SolarGenerator April 16th, 2023

@JoeCubsJoe 12 years and not the relationship that you were hoping for.
I'm open to hearing more.

1 reply
User Profile: JoeCubsJoe
JoeCubsJoe OP April 18th, 2023

Hello Krill. I guess I would say that my wife has changed a ton since we got married. She doesn't dress the same, act the same, treat me the same and the list goes on.


I find myself less happy than I have been in the past. I feel as if we are just going through the motions. I do not love her the same way that I used to and I am unsure if that will ever come back.


There is a lot more but I do not even k ow what to tell you.

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User Profile: 0m
0m April 18th, 2023

@JoeCubsJoe

Is she aware of your feelings? Have you had a chance to say all of this to her? Sometimes when life just gets busy, one partner can end up taking the other for granted and it sounds like that may be happening in your marriage.

2 replies
User Profile: JoeCubsJoe
JoeCubsJoe OP April 19th, 2023

0m, she is aware. We have spoken about these issues before. We have started seeing a therapist together, but I’m not sure what is going to come from it. Just worried.

1 reply
User Profile: 0m
0m April 19th, 2023

@JoeCubsJoe

It's good you're having the conversations and the therapy together. I hope you are able to find a constructive way forward.

You are always welcome to share anything you'd like to here, you aren't wasting anyone's time.

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User Profile: sooty41
sooty41 April 19th, 2023

@JoeCubsJoe

Marriage is a constant give and take of ideas, thoughts and perspectives. We all come from our own life experiences. But overall, i would say that a loving connection is worth fighting for. This tough time will pass as cliched as it sounds. Seek any support you can, be open, work together and then when you have exhausted every avenue .....take time, take time together if you can and see what still exists between you. Is it worth fighting for ? Be honest and open and put the hurt aside as you discuss this. Remember that this is the person you once felt great love for. If it is broken beyond repair, i would urge you both to put your children first and do what is right for the future of all of you.

1 reply
User Profile: sooty41
sooty41 April 19th, 2023

@sooty4

PS...I apologise if i used the term children out of context. But i'm sure that you got my meaning regardless !!

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