Horrible breakup
I was with my ex boyfriend for over 4 years, he was my first boyfriend and I honestly tought we were going to be together forever, he was the love of my life and I saw him as the one and he also said that about me, that I was the love of his life. In the beginning of February he broke up with me because he wasn't feeling good with himself and couldn't love anyone and he also said he still cared about me. 3 weeks after we broke up he started dating another girl. He said it just happend, and that he never cheated, just met her and felt a connection. I am completely broken, never felt more alone and sad in my entire life. How could he forget our 4 years together so quickly? I honestly don't know how to cope..
Dear @Danielaaamaro,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such difficult times right now. :( I imagine it's very painful to see that he seems not to be very affected by your long-term relationship ending.. I've also been in a similar situation in the past and it's hard to get used to the idea that maybe for him it wasn't really the ideal relationship or that maybe he just isn't the type of person to stick around for so long. Of course I don't know which is the case in your situation. Nevertheless it's important to try to focus on yourself and what you can do to maintain your emotional balance and slowly reinterpret this whole situation and hopefully find a lesson or a sense in all this. At first it's really hard to accept and understand these things.. but keep strong and you will manage to get over this.
Please don't hesitate to contact me in private if you want to talk some more or feel you need a bit of support in dealing with this. Take care! :)
@Danielaaamaro I'm sorry that happened to you. I couldn't say why he began dating so quickly. It could be that he's looking for a rebound relationship and she just hapepned to be there. Maybe she saw he had broken up with you and decided to move in. Maybe he really isn't sure what's going on right now but doesn't want to be alone. Maybe he got over you more quickly than he thought and moved on.
There's no way to really know and it's okay you're upset. All you can do is work on you and find a way to move on. Good luck.
@Danielaaamaro
Its likely that no explanation from him could provide any solid comfort, so dont let yourself depend on that.
February is recent, so this is fresh. Express your feelings on a regular basis to someone trustworthy in your life, or on this site, a journal, wherever.
Then in my opinion you can get yourself to a point where you dont crave an explanation. In my past, I stopped wanting answers after I learned to stop caring what he thought about me. Because I realized that the actual problem stopped being that he was no longer in my life. The actual lasting problem was how the breakup left me feeling about myself. So, the more I was growing and developing as an individual (earnestly trying to improve on my own character), the less my sense of self or peace depended on him. That takes time.
A relationship ended is not a failure or a waste of time. In my opinion it was a natural chapter in life. And once theres been some distance youre going to learn a lot from it, if you want (about you, about what you want and dont want). Thats just priceless.
