How To Get Over It
So, long story short. There was a long distance friend who I was really close with. We dated for a few months and I fell in love. We started kinda of friends but more and then he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. Two weeks later, he was in love. He wanted to stay friends but obviously, I felt like he didn't value me or what I gave him. We couldn't talk without properly and then I had to work with her and she is so immature among other things. She has s boyfriend when they first started dating. I can't respect him anymore because of that and the way he got host that I wouldn't want to remain friends. We got in an argument and i some really bad things to him. I'm tired of hating him and sent him an email saying I forgive him. Hasn't responded yet. Or maybe he never will. I don't trust him and won't forget what hapoebed. Yet, how do I stop loving him or over the betrayal?! Everyon tells me it's been two months u should be over it. But we in each other's lives for two years. Some one tell me how to make my heart stop missing him …..
@warmheartedHuman2014
I can relate to that. Same situation here... It is very hard and difficult. Unfortunately I have no advice whatsoever... Keeping busy helps... It feels like an intrusion in your mind... This person came and left but you can't get why... You weren't ready for it...
@warmheartedHuman2014
hey, im sorry to hear about your situation :( it's quite tough getting over a person. The period of getting over a person varies among everyone, so even if people say two months, for you it could be different, longer. Nonetheless, keep trying, don't give up. I'm not qualified to advise, but based on experience, I would say, perhaps you can try to focus on your other priorities in life, priorities that you have now or that you had before you met him. Don't forget your interests and hobbies and goals in life. Don't forget your friends and family, your loved ones. And though you have to work with her, perhaps you can try to hang out with other colleagues or distance yourself from her if you can until you are ready. Feel free to pm me or other listeners if you wish to talk about it. If you'd like, perhaps you can check out these guides:
https://www.7cups.com/forgiveness/
https://www.7cups.com/12-step-working-guide/
https://www.7cups.com/7cups-for-the-searching-soul/
https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/
The forgiveness guide might help getting over this betrayal. The 12 steps guide is usually for people with addiction, but I find it a very nice read for those who would like to make a change in life. The 7 cups guide is a long read, but it helps nonetheless, and explains better on love and empathy. The last guide is for you if you ever feel like you're stuck in the healing process.
Remember, even if you have made progress but find yourself relapsing, its ok. Give yourself time to grieve before picking up the pieces again and moving on. This is the time to focus on yourself and take care of yourself. Be strong.
@GingerBread212 hey, thank you for the kind words and advice. I guess its really hard for me because he and I had a lot in common. So, doing certain things remind me of him. Also, after my break up with my ex two years ago, I had to move back home to find out that my hometown friends didn't want to be friends anymore. He was the one I could talk to when it happened. I'm an only child and it's only my mom in my hometown. I leave she ship tomorrow. I have no idea what to do while I am there for two months...I had hoped to spend time with him during this time but that won't happen now...
His new girl left last week. I tried to avoid her but the crew bar is small and I think she was trying to annoy me on purpose or else she woukdnt have talked about their plans in front of me.
Thanks for the links. I will check them out.
This all just doesnt seem fair...why does someone like her who has cheated gets to be happy and how can he toss me to the side and replace me so quickly after two years...and I'm alone and have been betrayed and lied to...why didn't he value my love or at least respect our relationship enough to be honest with me from the beginning?
@warmheartedHuman2014 ah, I see. That does seem harder, but fret not, yeah? It just means more time for you to heal. You can still come talk to us if you're ever feeling lonely. I do not know what happened between u and your hometown friends, but it saddens me to hear about them unfriending you :( As for him and you, perhaps he was afraid of hurting your feelings, or that he wasn't sure of his own feelings. Take it easy, girl. Perhaps in time you can start anew and make new friends. Volunteering or reaching out to others might help.
@GingerBread212 hey, yeah. I'm not sure what really happened with my hometown friends myself. I guess we just grew apart and they were trying to find reasons to unfriend me. As for him, he admitted last time talked that he didn't think we'd make a good couple. He could have said that from the beginning... I guess I don't know why he kept me hanging on so long or why he reiterated that he wasn't ready for a relationship if he felt that way... Or why he wanted to stay friends after he started dating her
I'm not sure what I will do.
Thanks for the talk
