How do I get over her?
How do I get over her?
my best friend for the past 9 months. We were with each other all day every day and I slept at her house almost every night for 9 months. We were never officially dating but still did all the things couples do. I knew she had baggage and couldnt date anyone but when she started getting distant towards the end I knew it was ending. She said she still had feelings for her ex and couldnt date someone without handling these feelings. So she chose him over me. When I contacted her a week later to express how I felt (she was the first girl I ever loved. Im 26....) she told me it wont work with them but she cant come back to me. She needs to be alone and make herself happy. Im crushed inside, its been about a month since Ive seen her and Im still crushed and think about her all the time. The last time I spoke to her, about 3 weeks ago, she told me how surprising easy it was to get over me. Im depressed all the time and hate my self worth. Being alone has been very difficult and I could use some advice on how I should handle this. Thank you for taking the time to read this
I'm so sorry you are feeling these deep and painful emotions. I too know what it's like to love someone with every ounce of your being, and that feeling not be returned. Here's what I've learned about broken hearts. No one can fix our broken hearts for us. Only we have the power to fix our broken hearts and learn the valuable lessons that our broken hearts have taught us. If we didn't feel this pain we're in right now, then we would have to question if the feelings we had for the other person were valid. Pain allows us to understand what we're willing to risk. But we have to be careful that we aren't putting the other person on a higher pedestal than ourselves. By doing that, we invalidate our worth and at the end of the day, we need to be loved for our worth and not just for what we can do for the other person. We can't truly love anyone until we love ourselves. I know that sounds cliche, but it is true. If we can't love ourselves then why should anyone else love us? I have tried to keep myself occupied and busy working on myself and the things I need to work on to be a better person. I've tried to surround myself with family and friends that I know love me and want me to be part of their lives. I've noticed that sometimes dealing with the pain is a day by day process and sometimes hour by hour, minuite by minute and second by second. Each time I get thru the next emotion is a win for me and it helps a little. Just know that you are not alone in this. You have people in your life that care and will be there for you. We are all here as well and if you ever need to talk or vent to get it out hit us up here. We will always be here for you. I hope this has helped just a little. Sending hugs your way!! 
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much, your words were very helpful. Im taking it day by day but having her on my mind 23 hours per day is a struggle but Im optimistic that with no contact I can get a hold of my life again. Just one small step forward every day
@brightAvocado3528
@Dufyduf29 I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, but I'm glad you thought my reply was helpful. Sometimes it just takes someone to listen to you who knows exactly what you're going through so you can get things off your chest. Yes no contact definitely helps as long as you're using that time to work on yourself. Just reachnoutnof you need to talk. I totally get where you and your heart are...
