How do you heal after a breakup?
So We broke up about two months ago but had been together for almost two years but the thing is it had started becoming very toxic. He was narsassistic and he would always shout and me and come say he’ll never do it again and I always believed and stayed because I loved him. We broke up and I was feeling like I can’t live without him. He hurt me, made me insecure and made my depression worse and now I just want to heal and forget all that but I don’t know where to start. One day I feel like I’m getting better then he appears in my dreams and it’s just like I’m back to square one. If anyone can help me please do
@carefulTalker2440 I am sorry to hear that sounds painful I think my ex was maybe a narcissist or just had some traits of it but I was so blind by love I didn't see the traits but with Aspergers which is what I have it went over my head my roommate/ friend pointed it out we been broken up for about 7 years now both are graduated and moved on with our lives.
Thankyou for sharing this. If you don’t mind me asking, was it hard completely letting go?
@carefulTalker2440 No not really we weren't all that compatible nothing in common so he graduated before me in like 2015 or 2016 don't remember which year.
Ohh okay! But thanks again
@carefulTalker2440 Good luck sorry it ended but it seems it was for the best
I am going through the exact same thing and feel like i’m dying
It actually gets better and easier to process as days go by trust me. Just take it easy and don’t be hard on yourself just take each day as it comes that’s what I’ve learnt recently. It always gets better ☺️
I feel you . I broke up with mine a few months ago and he came back into my life theee days ago . I had to kick him out again but I sometimes feel I’m back to square one . I promise you the dreams will stop . I promise you you will feel better . Meet with friends , do stuff you like . We can get through this . That’s what they do they make you feel like you need them to survive but it’s not true . They need us to feel better about themselves . Be strong 💪🏼 . And I’m here if u need to talk
I know that feeling of that wave hitting you all over again and it makes you feel like you’ve made no progress . It totally sucks but as for me The dreams actually reduced and I feel more at peace than I did at the beginning. Thankyou for being here and for your advice. Yes! We’ll get through this 💜
I don't believe that you are back to square one after 2 months of working hard to move on. I am in the exact same situation: relationship of almost 2 years and I will celebrate 2 months of h@ll this Friday. But break ups come in waves. We think we are better and then we are thrown back in the emotions as though it was day 1 again. It is extremely frustrating to "fall back" into nostalgia. Maybe you feel discouraged. If you are like me, lows are less frequent and less "deep". Dreams of ex can be a very positive thing: it tells you that your mind is processing information to overcome trauma. What can help is to write the dream down. What is your mind telling you about your grief? The more you write about it, the more you process. You can even write your dreams here: I will be happy to read you.
I feel the same. Trying to get a divorce. But i think i trauma bonded with him. And it is making me insanely depressed to leave someone i love so much. I get anxiety attacks and suicidal ideation. But i will keep going (hopefull). And i will get out of this (hopefully)
Yes that’s the problem with trauma bonding and sometimes it can become a cycle without even realizing 😕. I know how you feel when you say you got insanely depressed because that’s what happened to me and after months of making progress with my depression it felt like i had hit rock bottom. But what I did was that I decided that the feelings won’t control me, I am strong and I’ve been down before and I was able to get back up and that’s what I’m gonna keep doing everyday. I use affirmations almost daily to keep me going and also I write down my daily achievements so when I’m feeling down I can look back at all the things that I’ve achieved and it kinda makes me feel better. You can give it a try and see how it does but one thing for sure is that you will be okay ❤️. You can always share your feelings here and we are here to listen.
Hi @carefulTalker2440, I can totally relate as I only just went through a break up two months ago too, to make the matter worse I just found out from a friend that he wasn’t really that into me so didn’t make much of an effort, but the whole time he made me feel as though I was needy and crazy, toxic people are best out of your life in the long term, it hurts me so bad to know but I’m glad I do now I can focus on moving on, you can do it too, do it for yourself !