How to get over him!!
I lost my dad after a fight with brain cancer, it was horrible but my boyfriend really helped me through that! I started to rely on him in everything. He was my everything. But being with him exhausted me, i was tired physically and mentally! He is kinda cold, he doesnt care if we are together or not, he is like "i like you around but its okay for me if youre not there!" He didnt complete his study so i dont study too.. my family kinda hated him and believed he uses me! I became too pale and lost interest in everything although I used to be that very optimistic girl with a lot of colourful dreams.. so i decided to break up with him! To at least continue my study (im studying medicine) and to achieve me dreams!
But its hell! I see him and i feel him everywhere, i cant stop thinking of him! I convince myself that i was too selfish as he was there for me when my dad died and that makes me want to talk to him again! I did talk to him again and he would like to be together again BUT gosh!! I NEED TO GET OVER HIM TO START LIVING MY LIFE! Help please! I cant be together with him again, i need to move on!!
I am not sure I understand who you are trying to get over here. Is this about grief over your father or something with a boyfriend?
@cristiana33 oh i meant how to get over my boyfriend who helped me with my dads death! Its not about grief
@understandingBeach
I see! I'm sorry for the confusion - english tends to do that with me sometimes!
So about your post. I've seen many people relying on their partner when dealing with something that could have been devastating emotionally. A loss of a parent is horrible and I can't even imagine what it must mean to go though it by yourself.
You probably started giving him "power" over you as you convinced yourself he helped you through that dark period of your life... however, as you alone mentioned in your post you started seeing your dreams and hopes being ignored for the sake of a relationship. After you took that healthy choice of breaking up with him and see for yourself what you can do about your life, you are now convincing yourself you are selfish. Why?
I believe you need to decide which way you are going to go now. You made a step in moving forward but you don't know if you did alright or not. What are you afraid of?
Yeah you may miss him and need him as you were together for a long time probably a lot more when you suffered a lot so it's harder now to face bad moments by yourself but do think about the present. What do you miss from that particular relationship? You said you were actually suffering as he was okay if you were or weren't with him - you maybe just miss being in a relationship?
You also said you didn't finished your studies as he didn't either. Why? You need to take some acknowledge on your own choices, needs and desires and not blame yourself for them afterwards.
I don't think there are any standard things you can do to take your mind off him - but I think you already have something in mind - focusing on your studies and dreams, those you left behind for too long. A man isn't everything in life! A lot more if he makes you suffer and doesn't encourage you or motivate you to achieve more! :)
