How to know when it's over?
I've been in a 2-year relationship with my boyfriend it has been pretty carefree and easy. However, he recently broke my trust in a big way. My trust in him is completely shattered. It has also killed most of the romance I feel toward him.
I feel stuck in the middle. Sometimes I want to stay and try to build our relationship back up and sometimes I feel like it is beyond saving.
I don't want to drag this decision on any longer. Do you have any advice about how to tell when it is time to walk away?
Unfortunately, he shared a secret I told him not to share... and the one he told was my boss. He has apologized but I worry about how he got there in the first place. We have tried to think of ways to build our relationship back up but I think this might be too big of an issue.
Sorry no one else has replied to your question. I'll give it a go.
I'm kind of in the same boat, honestly, trying to decide if it's time to get go of a long-term relationship. I tried making lists (reasons to stay vs. reasons relationship is not good) and that was helpful, but I still felt stuck and undecided. I REALLY liked my partner and didn't want to end a good relationship... except that there were so many red flags, it was hard to say it was truly good.
The thing that helped me the most was this: Imagine yourself still in the same relationship, with the same person, and the same issues. The same issue will always be there, and unless it happens just once and everyone is fully forgiven, it will always be there hanging over your head. Can you keep living with that for another year? Or 5 years? or 10 years?
Another way to look at it is: If your close friend shared their story with you, identical to your story, including all the details, all the hurts, all the bad stuff, what would you tell them? Would you encourage them to let it go or stick it out?
After realizing that I would write a letter to myself saying, "hey, it's time to just let this go" it became easier to really acknowledge and accept that it was time to let it go. And I did. I feel sad about it, but I think it was the right decision.
Good luck to you in your decision!