I can't stop thinking about this!
Hi there! So I'm just going to get right down to it.
Last October I was dumped after a relationship that lasted a little over six months but we were best friends two years before we got into the relationship. When he broke up with me, he spent a week ignoring me and avoiding me, saying he needed his space. When he dumped me he said that it was because a relationship was not what he needed at the moment because he needed to focus on himself. However, a week later he got into a relationship with another girl! Two months ago or so he did the same thing to that girl, dumped her randomly out of the blue and is now in a brand new relationship. I'm just providing this all for some background knowledge.
At the time we were dating, I'd identified as bisexual but almost immediately after getting out of the relationship, I'd realized I'm a lesbian and just hadn't realized it sooner because I had been exploring my sexuality while I was in a relationship. I say this because I don't miss him or the relationship at all, I'm glad that it ended. But all this time later and I still get really sad and bitter about how it ended and how I was treated during the process. It was really bad. I thought I'd gotten over it but now it seems I still have some unresolved anger because I can't stand hearing any mention of him and I think about constantly what happened and how I was treated. I'm not sure what to do or why I am still thinking about this.
I regret a lot about that relationship. I did a lot sexually with him even though I didn't really enjoy it because I just thought that's what you did with people you cared about. Later when I realized I'm a lesbian it makes sense as to why I didn't enjoy certain things. This does not help when I thinking about what happened and my bitterness towards how it ended.
@generousShip3968 It makes complete sense why you'd be bitter, it seems like he has a pattern of being manipulative and then leaving girls once he's done trying to use them. I would feel resentful in your situation too and it isn't your fault that he's an abusive, selfish person.
What's relieving is that you are focusing on yourself more and have figured out what kind of relationship you do want and can eventually be with someone much better for you if you aren't already. I'm glad you're analyzing the situation and putting the pieces together to figure out what you can do.
One option would be to just communicate about how toxic he is to friends and any girl you know that he might be going after. If you have any influence over them to help them avoid the pain you went through, then it'd be worth a try. I can see you're a really strong and smart person and ultimately all we can do is do better once we know better.
I hope everything works out for the best and this cycle can stop eventually because its not fair to the girls at all. You deserve to be happy and I hope you can be safe from people like this in the future.
