I don’t know how to feel
TLDR; I feel so bad for betraying his trust, I want him back even though he’s a liar, cheater and struggles with addiction, I don’t know if he’s manipulating me by threatening suicide and I want to know: if I did the wrong thing, how I should feel, and what I should do moving forward So my ex and I have been on and off for 6 years. He’s constantly lied to me about using P and recently I’ve discovered that he most likely was cheating on me the whole time too. We broke up about 4 months ago and he moved in with another girl with a month. Today I found out that he’s telling her he loves her, buying her expensive gifts etc. but the whole time we have still been sleeping together. A week ago I promised him I wouldn’t tell her. He really opened up to me and told me I was one of the 3 people that he knew truly had his back. He told me their relationship wasn’t that serious, and that he hopes we fall in love again in a few years and get married. But today I let jealousy get the better of me and I told this other girl that we’ve been sleeping together the whole time. He’s completely denying it but she believes me and kicked him out. He called me and he told me hates me and was acting like he was su*cidal. I asked him if he was going to commit su*cide and he said “I’m going to smoke some P and then yeah probably” and then somehow he implied that the only way I can keep him from committing su*cide is to “fix” things with this other girl. Keep in mind, he has done this before to get what he wants, but every time I think “but what If He is serious this time?” He hung up and that was that Now Idk why but I still love him, and still hope he will change and we can be a family (we have a 9 month old daughter), I still want him back. SO my point is - I feel so bad for betraying his trust, I want him back even though he’s a liar, cheater and struggles with addiction, I don’t know if he’s manipulating me by threatening su*icide and I want to know: if I did the wrong thing, how I should feel, and what I should do moving forward
In my opinion*, you did not do the wrong thing. He’s in the wrong. If he was committed to becoming a family than he would. Instead he is upset because you messed up the relationship he had going on with another woman. He is manipulating you and knows that if he tells you certain things you will go back to him. Do not feel bad for betraying his trust when he has betrayed you. Think about your daughter—if she was going thru this same situation as an adult what advice would you give her? I know how it feels to love a person who cares about someone else, especially when you have a child with them. And it took a year of time with just me and my child to realize that my child’s dad was just using me all the years we have known each other and he never actually wanted to be with me. You deserve more than what he is giving you.
Thank you very much, I can’t explain how much your reply means to me. This situation has pushed jme to a low place and I truly didn’t know how to feel or if I did the wrong the thing by telling this other girl
Ur welcome! And trust me I understand. I have been manipulated and seen friends of mine go thru the same thing. And that’s how manipulation works..to make us think we did wrong when it was the other person. A situation like this will take time to heal from, but when you do finally get thru it you will look back and see you are worth more and deserve so much more in life.