I dont know what to do
Hello for whoever is reading this, i just want to share story about my breakup. It was only 2 days ago and i was the one who asked for it too. Well the reasons were because we both view things differently and he never really respect on thing i like, i understand he doesnt need to like it too but i just want him to listen and also there are times when i thought i only kept by his side because i liked the way he treated me, he was sincere, but then i realized im being a toxic person for him and the next day he texted me asking if was sure with my decision and he said my reasons could still be talk throught together..and now i just waver..i dont know what to do..
@blueCake9606
Hi Blue Cake,
I dont know you or your partner and dont know what is best for you. Im only going to make some general comments and recommendations. You decide if any of this might be worth trying.
Have the two of you been in a long term relationship or short term? Are you married or just dating or have just been in a relationship. How I would answer your question would depend upon the type of relationship you have with your partner and whether there are children involved. If you two have children together I would certainly recommend working through your problems for the sake of the children. If not, then you have choices to make.
The two of you dont have to view life the same if you both can treat each other kindly and be respectful to each other. There is a saying that goes like this, You dont have to agree to get along.
You say that he says that he wants to talk. IF he is a safe person and If you think that it is a good idea, I would suggest that you meet him in a public place and talk frankly with him. (Perhaps you could bring a friend with you for moral support.) Tell him that if the relationship would continue that it is very important to you that he listens to you every day. (As an example, I work at home, my wife has a job. Every time she comes home (whether from being with friends or coming home from work) I stop whatever I am doing and ask her how her day or her time out has been. I focus only on her until she is done talking.)
Now, you should also consider that you should listen to him as well. If the relationship is to continue, both of you need to be able to talk to each other about many things in life every day. If you decide to continue with him a while longer I would suggest that you focus primarily just talking, and talked about many things. Don't be physically intimate during this time because it messes with your brain and emotions.
If you decide to continue with him (it could be on a test basis) you could teach him (if he is teachable) what you need from him. (My wife has taught me a lot about what she needs.)
You say that you realized that you are being toxic to him. If that is the problem, cant you just stop being toxic? Instead, if you were to continue with him, can you just treat him kindly and be nice to him. If you cant be nice to him, then you shouldnt be with him.
These are just some of my thoughts based on my being happily married for over 30 years and upon reading your message. You decide what you want to do or if any of this is applicable to you and your situation.
I wish you the best.
Pilgrim