I don't know what to do
I was broken up with about a week ago, and I took it pretty hard. I got really emotional and she ended up having to talk me down from suicide. I feel humiliated and angry with her for hurting me, but I still love her and miss her every day. She said we could still be freinds, but she doesn't talk to me anymore, and I'm not sure which would hurt more, talking to her but not being able to be with her, or losing her completely. I'm lost and it hurts all the time...
@LambShepard
Listen, you have nothing to be humiliated about. It wasn't weakness or anything you lacked. It's like an equation. We all have a tolerance for pain, but there's a point when all of your coping mechanisms, all of your rationale, all of your resources are less than or equal to the amount of pain you're experiencing. It's not about willpower or composure. And I know it's not really quantifiable. But if you could quantify pain, when that value exceeds the resources you have at your disposal, the natural reaction is to want to end that pain by any means necessary.
This whole community is a resource that you've already begun to make available to you. You're not alone in feeling abandoned. You're not alone in having to endure an anguish that brings so many to their limit. It doesn't seem like it now, but there's a point later down the road where you'll find peace again, when all that pain and grief won't be the freshly carved wounds in your heart it is now. There's compassion here that you never knew you could feel, if you let yourself feel it. For now, let yourself be sad, let yourself grieve your loss. And when you're ready, let the people who want to help you, carry you through this.