I don't want these 5 months to mea
I was just getting over my first love. I felt good. I started looking for somthing serious, and I asked my friend to hook me up with one of her friends and she did. We started talking, then went on a date. After that we went out with friends, we had a good night, and we the night together & the next morning I was his girlfriend. we got close, I wasn't in love with him though, I made mistakes. I feel like it was because I never had someone show me true genuine love and I didn't know how to react. He found out I cheated and we broke up. he fought the guy and I realized how bad I messed up, I made the worst desison of my life and I paid for it. He still loved me though and asked for me back. we got back together and then I realize how much I loved him and wanted just HIM he was my everything my whole world.
I grew to care about him more then I did myself, and be loved me to death.he cried to me, to my friends and his family over me. I was his first love
we made thousands of unforgettably memories and planned a future and how we wanted to get married, then for a week it was fighting and bad. I was a complete bitch, I was going though somthing I couldn control inside and he couldn't take it anymore and he left me. but he still would see me and we still did things the one day it stopped, he said he needed space and time to miss me because he loves me but can't be with me. Will we be together in the future? Is there still hope? will he move on? I'm scared he will stop loving me one day.
Dear @Andy1738 ,
Dear @Andy1738
Firstly, I wanted to tell you that I'm really proud of you for knowing what mistakes that you've done in your relationship. The first step to a better relationship is to acknowledged what faults you have, and I'm so glad to see that you've taken that step.
I can't imagine how insecure you're feeling right now, but I can tell you this: sometimes in a relationship it might be good to give yourself and your other half some space to have some quality alone time. Perhaps you can fully reflect on what you've done, and remind yourself not to repeat that mistake once more. And perhaps your partner wish to have some time to calm himself down before he makes irrational decisions. This does not mean necessarily mean he wants to leave you, it might just be him being scared of hurting you by saying mean, insulting words during the fight.
However, this is just my assumption based on what you said, about how much he loves you. And those questions you're asking, only you and him have the answer to it. Since you seem really anxious about the outcome of this situation, perhaps you can act on it and make it clear that you're sorry, and you regret what you did and said. People who truly care and love us would not simply disregard sincere apologies, and maybe he would at least feel better as well.
Last but not least, you seem to really really love him, and I believe that you will make the best decision to keep this relationship going, because you might be the only one who truly understands him.
I have faith in you, and I hope you do too.
Yours sincerely,
Snow 
@SnowInOctober Thank you 💗 I've been struggling so hard without seeing him, he told me that he didn't want to get back with me and didn't want to me me.. but he loves me and wants us to be together in the future. but he says that the more I beg the less likely we are to happen.. He acts so annoyed when I talk to him and it crushes me bc idk what he wants bc he won't straight up say do not talk to me.. He's tried moving on but it didn't work out but he would still say he loves me and invite me to his football games. I want so bad to be able to live without him and be strong enough to not blow up his phone confessing my love bc it never ends up the way I want it too.. I don't get how he can go to crying when I'd cry, to doing everything in the world for me, and constantly wanting to be with me to never trying to talk or see me.. I'm so confused and hurt.
Dear @Andy1738
I'm truly sorry to hear that your boyfriend does not want to be with you right now. But, since he told you that he still loves you, does that not mean that you have a chance with him again in the future?
I know it is difficult to stay away from the one you love, but if that is the condition for you to bring him back in the near future, wouldn't you want to do it? I understand it might bring a lot of pain to you, but perhaps you could focus some time during this period on thing you can do to make yourself a better person to be with. As an example, you could look up guides on the internet to find tips on dealing with what you were struggling to deal with when you had that argument with your boyfriend. Or perhaps you could focus on other aspects of your life as a distraction, to give yourself and him both space and time, to love each other again.
Sincerely,
Snow.
@Andy1738
Also, as a side note, I believe he couldn't stand being with you at the moment because he was hurt from what you might have said during that argument. He just needs some space and time to love you again, and perhaps some space to let himself calm down, to think about what he truly loves in the world, before he irrationally makes a decision and hurt you.
I'm sorry that what he did confused you, and I hope I helped clarified his point of view for you, dear.
@SnowInOctober you have helped so much, thank you so much! you've been spot on and opened my mind to a lot of things. thank you again!
Dear @Andy1738 ,
You're very welcome, I'm glad to be of help to you. Feel free to keep me updated on how it goes, or just pop in for a talk if you like. I hope the best for you, my dear. :)
Sincerely,
Snow.
