I got Dumped.
I got dumped back in October and at first it didn't bother me because he had admitted to me that he was thinking of breaking up with me at the beginning of October, on my nephews birthday, and we didn't break up until the end of October. But lately it's been hitting me pretty hard.
I've known the guy I dated since High School, I had a crush on him back then and he's been friends with both my brothers for a long time. I thought things were going great. We were talking like usual, hanging out, we never really fought or anything.
I guess I was the only one who thought things were going great though...Things that he said weren't problems when we started dating suddenly became problems six months later and when he asked me to change myself just so he would be happy, I refused. This was around the time my sister was finally getting the divorce she wanted from her ex, which I think sort of matters in this case.
After he dumped me, he started getting closer with my sister. It hurts to see them getting closer, especially since she brings him up all the time, even though I've told her how I feel about her bringing him up. I sort of feel like she does it to upset me some times, and I don't know what to do. When me and him were dating he left facebook because he said it was too much stress, but I feel like he left it because of me, since he got back on it to talk to my sister after he dumped me.
I babysit for my sister all the time, I'm at her house almost every day, and my nephew is more attached to me than he is to her. (That's another thing entirely, so yeah.)
Would it be selfish of me to quit babysitting for her if they started dating? I don't think I could honestly be happy for them or accept it if they started dating, and because I wouldn't want my nephew to see me hurt and angry all the time, I would rather just not be near them at all.
I feel like I screwed things up between me and him by refusing to change myself to make him happy when I knew I would be miserable if I did, but I also knew that if he liked me for me, I wouldn't have been asked to change myself to begin with, but I still feel like everything is my fault, because I mess everything up some how.
I hate that I feel so angry and hurt towards both of them, but I just can't help it. I've tried not to let it bother me, but it does.
@KayGee93 You should never have to change yourself for someone. the fact that he asked you to change to make him happy kind of shows the kind of person he is. As far as your sister getting close to him, I mean I don't know the detailed situation between you and your sister, but if you do not feel happy going to babysit your nephew because of them, I don't blame you. what you are feeling is normal and I am sure you are feeling betrayed. Just know, you have to do what is right for you. Don't feel like you messed anything up!
@KayGrr93
It sounds like you really needs some time for yourself to focus on you. Time to heal. Break ups are not easy, and sometimes people don't realize that a break up is a loss and can certainly cause people to go through a grieving process. Breaking up with you and then going after your sister, is a pretty sleazy thing on his part. Now your sister has to put up with someone who's probably telling her the same things: pretending things aren't an issue that will come up later. It's said that the way someone leaves a person is usually a cycle and bound to happen again. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to crawl back to you after those issues come up between him and your sister. If terms of your nephew... how old? I'm sure your nephew will grow to understand what happened, and he will forgive you. When I think of my own aunts and uncles, they did things that upset me and made me happy, they would come and go but I don't hold a grudge, I'm old enough now to know everyone has their own stuff going on and things happen. I would focus on taking time for yourself <3
@QuothRavenNevermore First of all, I'm proud of you for not changing yourself so that someone else will love you. We have to love ourselves and the way we are before we start loving someone else. I think you won in that. I'm sure you will be able to find someone who will love you for who you are. About babysitting your nephew, I don't feel like it's selfish if you don't want to be around him, since you yourself feel that you will be angry all the time, which again is totally understandable given the circumstances. This really must be hard for you and you cannot be blamed for feeling angry at them. If I were in your shoes, I would too, I just hope everything will get better for you soon! Stay strong and hold on! *hugs*