I just Really Need Someone Right Now

This is my very first heartbreak that truly has felt like I’m shutdown.

There was this guy that I met online and we talked for over a month by now and I thought he was what I’ve been praying from. I fell in loved with him ever since. I don’t fall in love easily which was strange but for some reason he just felt worth it. He had told me in the beginning how he felt the same and how I’m the only one who truly takes his heart away. How he wants to love all of me and the little girl inside of me etc. It went well till a week ago I felt distance from him. As if he was seeing and liked someone else, he lied to me for awhile till he finally came clean to me today that he’s in love with another girl this whole time. In the very beginning when I met him, I told him in the beginning how I was looking for transparency in relationships and was serious when it came to love. He told me he is the same but found out he lied this whole time. I’ve cried for what feels like hours now and been for the past 4 days since and I just don’t understand why this is happening to me. I never asked to go through this. Part of me wonders if I wasn’t good enough for him. But not understanding how he have the nerve to do this when he got cheated on by his ex before meeting me. He has opened up to me about that before. I was super vulnerable to him and he just threw me away meanwhile wishing another girl‘s happiness while I’m suffering on my own. He blocked me on *** and that and IMessages along with some photos is the only thing I have left of him. All I asked is to be loved as much as I love for others. What does this girl have that I don’t that he loves? I wish to be that girl ***. I feel like it’s hard to be that girl ***. I feel like it’s hard to ever love again now. And I don’t know what to do anymore at this point 😔💔