Intro & my story

Hi everyone, guess I just need someplace to vent.

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me two months ago now. We were together for five years and event though I'm fairly young I honestly thought she was the love of my life, I wanted to move in with her and marry her, I wanted to have my future with her. I chose to attend Uni in her city just to be closer.

I also thought she felt the same about me. A month or so before our breakup she told me that she had a crush on another girl but it didn't mean nothing, that she loved me too much so she could never leave me for anyone else. She kept telling me this for a month and I started to believe her (even though she spent a lot of time alone with this other girl).

Then she broke up with me. A couple of days later she started dating this girl she had a crush on. She then proceed to open a blog saying how much she was important and she couldn't live without her.

She also blocked me on Twitter and Instagram (after saying she wanted to be friends with me cause she cared too much about me).

I don't seem to be able to get over all this. I still love her so much that it hurts, and I hate myself for loving her when clearly she moved on a long time ago.

She was my best friend, my everything. And sometimes it still feel surreal that all this happened. Like I feel I'm in a dream and I'm going to wake up soon.

I'm so lost, dealing with anxiety and a binging on top of that.

Of course my anxiety sky-rocketed after the breakup. I saw in the distance her new girlfriend the other day and the anxiety hit me so hard I thought I was gonna puke, and I was on edge all night.

I'm so scared of running into them I don't wanna go where I know they could hang out.