I rejected my ex because I don't know

Me and my ex dated for almost 2 years. Last march I ended our relationship for a forgotten reason and after that we just kept continuing our connection. We even hooked up once in a while and meet. It went on for months and time after time we find ourselves fighting over how I just don't wanna give it a shot for now because I just want a little break from the dating scene and him wanting me to be his boyfriend because he just couldn't see us as being friends. It came to the point that now i completely gave up on keeping this type of relationship because he just couldn't keep our friendship as it is, He asked me for the last time if I wanna give this a shot and as much as i want to I just can't commit. I was so scarred with what happened when we were together, it was very emotionally draining and exhausting and I was so scared that it might happen again if we get back together. Now he's cutting off our connection and I'm all alone again. I don't know what to feel if I should've just suck it up and take the chance or if it's good that I'll just take a break from relationships like I wanted to. I just hate the fact that I'm alone again and not having a genuinely good friend who I trust and value.