I thought things were supposed to get better...
My girlfriend broke up with me somewhat recently. Shes going through a lot with a career change. I did everything I could to try and help her, but she decided she needed to be on her own. We were together a month shy of three years and I genuinely thought wed get married and start a family.
I was devastated when it happened. Im still devastated. Its not going away. I feel empty and lost, deeply, deeply lonely and starved for any kind of intimacy and its only getting worse. I dont know what to do. Ive tried to do constructive things, like go to the gym and read more, but its only a temporary distraction. Ive even tried to see other people, hooked up. It just makes me feel lower.
I want to reach out to her. I want to see her. I want to talk to her about everything, but I dont think either of us is in a position to do that. Id settle for talking about nothing important at all. The last time I saw her things did not go well.
Im worried because its not getting better and I dont know how to get better.
@mjc724
I'm sorry you're going through this. Your entire world gets turned upside down when things like this happen and it takes what feels like an eternity to find another normal.
It sounds like you guys may be able to work it out but it does really depend on your partner. Respecting her choice right now is key. I know this brings up loads of anxiety though especially since it feels like you have no control.
Since you said both of you aren't in a position to talk about everything, you can try making a goal to be in a better position to talk about it when/if she's ready too. You can reflect on the relationship and find some areas you could improve on yourself, but also go out, live and experience things. Doing this stuff will help keep you moving forward and also give you some direction. If the time comes to talk then you'll feel more confident, and if you did some living and growing on your own then you'll feel like a breath of fresh air to her
@tophat22
Thank you for this.
I think we both want to see each other still. She told me as things were ending and as I was moving out that she still wanted to hang out. The one time Ive seen her since was a mutual decision to spend time together. But I feel the way I feel and I think shes still hurt and overwhelmed by her situation. It can make things tense.
Im trying to figure out things like improving communication, which is an issue we had.
The thing is, the more things I do by myself the more distant and lost I feel. She told me not to wait for her, so Im trying to live my life, but it hurts to do so. I suppose itll get better with time, but its scary. I feel worse than I did when we first broke up.
@mjc724
No problem.
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