Just got my life ripped away
Been in a four year on and off relationships he said " he love me and wanted to Merry me and have me bare his child one day", but he broke up with me a week ago. Just for his ex that he have been cheating on me with again and again. I didn't find out by him I found out because he blocked me then dropped me. I had to ask his friend's girlfriend about it. He did want me and I was living with him. I have no friends from his crazy jealous actions, for these four years I've just clinged to him. I don't know what to do. I haven't been by myself in so long nor have I been where he isn't around. I love him to the point I would do anything and everything. Just for him to stay. He isn't coming back.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! But you will make it!!
Thank you
@limeMango3976
Four years is a long time and he was such an important part of your world that's suddenly gone. It's a shock and your grief is understandable. The loss of a relationship can need some time to mourn and heal.
You have so very many memories from these past few years, some good some not so good. Some from the on phases and some from the often occuring off times. Of his repeated cheating and the hurt he caused you. The friends you lost and the crazy jealous behaviour that you remember so well. All those places where his memories still linger and somewhere ... just hidden underneath all of those memories, maybe you have memories of the person you used to be.
I am really sorry for all the pain you're going through.
We have a little self help guide that might help you
https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/
Sending you strength on this difficult journey to healing. You are never alone, please feel free to share anytime.
Thank you for the helpful link. Thank you for time out of you day to say what you said. It help me realize that he never will be normal form not letting go. I know he had feelings of other girls, but he just at lest made me feel a little loved amount everything. He never gets over anyone, so even though he does this he still wants everyone of them. Which makes it hard to forget him. I remember who I was just I'm no where close to that person anymore. I don't even know who I am anymore from all the pain he has caused over the years.
@limeMango3976
You're welcome!
It is okay to choose what feels right at the time, for whatever reasons. Even knowing he wasn't completely loyal, you chose repeated hurt rather than pain of losing him. I can empathize with that extremely difficult choice.
I am glad you remember who you used to be before all the hurt he caused. Of course you cannot be that exact person again because with time and experience, we all change. Some changes are for the better, some not. Now you clearly see what these years of pain have changed within you. The reason for evaluating the past 4 years looking at your own changed self, is to help you decide what to do next.
Only when you are sure you want to move on, the wait ends for him to return. Then the next steps to healing yourself can begin.
I never specified waiting for him, yet you knew I would wait. There is a lot more to it then a relationship. I know I was young when me and him got together. Which probably has a major impact on my mental state. He was so different back then then he changed. We used to be the high school couple that people thought would get married. Then once he broke up the first time he changed not for the best. But at the same time we never really broke up he still seen me and said he'll marry me. And now that he left and I'm scared it's for good. It gives me time to work on my mental state which is good. He had me very messed up and I tried telling him what he was doing. He just thinks I need to be his and we couldn't be friends. Now he thinks that we sould not see or speak to one another for a year or more. Because he finally realized what he did to me. He know I'll just get worse if he keeps on. So he vacated my life completely with out telling me. Which end the end messed me up more.
@limeMango3976
It is likely you are emotionally attached to that dream, the hope, the feeling of being part of magic... that attachment got you past the imperfections in the relationship, in him, in your situation. Even now, despite him leaving with zero explanations, you seek a positive reason for this cruelty. You try to find hope in him, whether it is holding on to that promise of "after one year", or "he finally realized".
You have a moment away from the middle of that storm .. the way forward depends for once, on what you want. Your choices will determine what happens next. There is no wrong choice. Just do what feels right, and it is okay to change your mind at any time.
I feel like I need to fix myself and become more normal to say. Before ever getting back with him. Yes I want him back but it isn't because of hope. It's the fact I love him and always have. My gut tells me he won't come back ever nor will he tell me it.
@limeMango3976
Hey, I'm going through the same. Was in a 4 year relationship with my girlfriend, I guess ex now. It's been a week now too. I feel the same way too, I would do anything and everything, just for her to stay as well, but she isn't coming back, I know that too.
If you need to talk, I'm here.
Thank you, I would be glad to talk maybe we can both help one other.
