Just need support

Today is the 2 year anniversary of my ex's death. to be honest I am not not sure exactly how I am feeling. . . (My mom kept prying yesterday and I exploded. However I think I am more angry and envious that he in heaven with my cat and doesn't have to deal with all of the problems here. Please note I do NOT want to die, I just want a better living situation. I'm angry that he just seem to have gotten over me so fast. Am I really someone that can be easily forgotten?)

We were broken up when he died, but I was taking care of him 6 week before that. (I lost half of my family to take care of him. He had cheated on me and stopped supporting me when I was going through health problems (Sept 2015) and after he had a liver tranplant a year later (Aug 2016), six month afterward, his mom asked for my help (Nov 2016) because she trusted me as i took good care of him before. I'll admit I am hurt, angry, and I feel like I cannot move on because I keep comparing every guy to him. There were some ways we got along. . . we were together 8 years and even engaged.

I just need support letting me know . . . it's ok to be these feelings because apart of me feel like it's wrong and I just brush off and move on.