Letting Go of a Bad Guy

Hi Friends, new here so I hope this is right. Was engaged up until ironically Val Day after being with a (who I thought) was an amazing man for 2 years. It was too perfect- but he just changed. He became so very verbally abusive and emotionally unstable calling me names and snooping through my home finding nonsense things from 2009 asking who and what!. He actually was two different men. His words were evil and the I could suddenly do no right, it was bizarre and he blamed me all the time for these issues. On the outside things looked perfect but at home I cried 7 hours all night for weeks After a fight that he would pick he would apologize and want to fix things, begging. This cycle went on for 5 months and I tried and tried he said hed change. I lost 35 pounds I lost my sparkle, I cant recall when I laughed last. I had to let it go but I just hate life now. My family is so embarrassed that the wedding is canceled and its so hard... but what kind of life would that have been? Having a hard timw with the what ifs and should I have tried once more.