Lived together for three years

My boyfriend of nearly four years who I lived with has recently broken up with me. A few days after his birthday he said he wanted to take a break to work on himself because he hurts me too often.

This is all very sudden as we were in a relatively good place. I take it pretty hard but try to accept it. We lived together so I would have to quit my job and move out to go back to my parents' house. He says he still wants to be friends and loves me so I'm very confused when he says it can't really wait until I work out my two week notice. He starts acting guilty trying to give me money for old gifts.

This makes me suspicious and eventually I check his messages while he's not around and find out that he has been cheating. This is a big shock to me as I really thought we were a strong couple.

I need to get my stuff out of our house safely and be ready to leave before I tell him I know what's really going on. I give him no time to explain and drive away right after.

Im crazy hurt by this whole thing and been having nightmares about this. It feels like I can't talk to our friends about it. I told a couple but it makes me feel childish. I'm not used to all this drama and it makes me feel like this isn't my real life.

I badly need help recovering.