Living together after a breakup
Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting and I don't really know how to approach this.
My ex fiancee and I have broken up a couple of days ago but we are still living together.
I initiated the breakup, things between us had been complicated for a while and a lot has happened between the two of us in the last few months. We've always been codepent on each other and during the years we've isolated ourselves. We also both suffer from anxiety and depression.
I have asked him to give me some time and space to think and work on myself and he's been very understanding and supportive of my decision. He's also making a lot of changes and taking care of himself a lot more after I asked him to do so.
I feel like this is the right decision for us at the moment as we both have to focus on improving ourselves and taking care of our health first. As well as we need to find a way to not be so dependent on each other.
The problem is that every time I see him or interact with him I start rethinking my decision and I think about going back together. I just love him so much and he's my best friend and I don't want to lose him but I know that being in a romantic relationship with him is not the right thing for me just now.
Anyone had a similar experience? How did you manage to handle the breakup and the heartbreak while still having to live together and see each other every day?
Thank you all for reading this far!
@alice3113
Oh Alice, i understand you.
I ended a few days ago a very important relationship, we last 5 years together. i feel devastated, so lonely, but also, i feel so scared, because my partner and i share the same friends, we share the same space every saturday ( well... for now, i'm safe, because she's taking care of her mom, who's fighting cáncer, so i can't see her) I didn't wanted to end up my relationship but she told me that she didn't feel any connection with me, but she still loving me ( i'll never understand that)
:( i'm afraid for the future, i feel so broken right now. I just can't be her friend. can you be friend of your ex?
Is there any difficulty that prevents one of you from changing your home or apartment? i think that being apart one of each other will helps to deal with that separation.
@Bonnie1042
I'm so sorry you're going through this... Breaking up is really hard and you never know when those feelings are going to hit you right in the gut.
But it does get better. And time helps to at least mitigate those feelings a bit.
Neither myself or my ex are in the position to find somewhere else where to live at the moment. We also have 2 cats which neither of us want to give up. On one hand I'm kinda glad that we're still sort of stuck with each other cause I'm not ready to not have him being part of my life yet.
@alice3113
Sometimes it's so much harder to separate when you're sharing pets or children.
Maybe it's good to set a goal between you two, to get some investment fund.
But on the other hand, that feeling of being stucked on each other can be the product of codependence, I do not know what your current dynamics are between you two, if you speak with each other, if you discuss ...
:( It s very painful when someone you loved so much disappears from your life, but sometimes there is no other way to grow personally: wounds heal, and hearts also. ... well, I want to believe that in these moments.
