Lost and alone
My best friend of 11 years, and partner for two dumped me by text less than a month after we got a house together.
He said he can no longer deal with my anxiety and he doesn't love me the same anymore. I'm so broken and lost. I've lost so much weight in one week that I look anorexic .I can't eat, I can't sleep. Even after valium.
I can't cope. I don't know what to do but I feel like I've lost my whole world 😔 I didn't deserve this
@bubbles1990
Truly so sorry to hear what you're going through. You didn't deserve this. He broke up on text it which means he knew what this would do to you, he didn't want to face the consequences of his actions. I know it feels like even breathing is difficult, much less getting up for food but your body needs your help. If you can manage to get at least some food/water down, your body will then help you back in coping with the devastating emotional/mental pain. At the moment it's under onslaught from all fronts so please try to at least remain hydrated.
If you feel like talking or sharing, I'm here to listen. I pray you find the strength to get up and find yourself in the midst of all this pain.
@0m I just don't know where to start. When I close my eyes at night I'm so exhausted but all I can think about is him and what I've lost. Even after how cruel he was I still want him more than anything and it hurts so bad. He was my best friend and he hurt me in the worst way possible. I don't feel I could ever love or trust another man ever again.
I can't even bear to face him to see a solicitor about the house .if he had a heart at all he would sign it over to me as the deposit and works in the house was from my pocket but I feel it's going to be a battle :(
I don't know how to move on from this
@bubbles1990
Maybe at the moment, let all these worries rest. Deal with them when the time comes and get yourself stronger to face those crossroads in this time now. Drink plenty of water, eat small meals or snacks ... and even if you're unable to sleep, get some rest. Just focus on surviving this immense trauma for now. That's all that matters in this moment.
I don't know if you have any close family that you might want by your side to support you but it's worth letting someone like a parent or sibling know what you're going through. Just survive it ... we're not talking about battles or moving on or other relationships or trust at this point.
@0m you're right I should concentrate on just getting through it at the moment but I keep thinking of him moving on and being with someone else and it makes me feel so sick.
I wish he was the same man he used to be. I miss him with all my heart. I can't block out the pain I'm feeling. My life feels so incomplete and it's painful.
@bubbles1990
He has been a major part of your life for more than a decade. Losing him is like losing a part of yourself. It's alright to grieve over the loss of your relationship, your partner, your friendship and a beautiful part of your life. Grief needs space to be felt and space to heal from. Just please try to look after your basic self care needs while you go through this deep loss and don't hesitate to reach out for support from family and friends at this traumatic time.
@0m I will try and pull myself together. I've had a week off work and worried if I don't go back tomorrow I'll end up losing that too so I need to sort my life out
Just can't believe how my life has been flipped upside down in just over a week. Life sucks sometimes
@bubbles1990
sometimes work can be exactly the distraction you need to find some emotional distance to process what's happened. If you feel you need some more time to yourself, telling your workplace that you're dealing with a personal loss can get you the time without the risk of losing the job. Most work places allow for special circumstances to be taken into consideration.
@0m I will give it my best shot tomorrow and see what happens. I will need to sort the house with the solicitor in the week also. There's sadly a long and painful road ahead :(
@bubbles1990
yes I understand the circumstances with the house mean you need to fortify yourself before you face him again.
All the very best, sending you prayers and love.
@0m thank you so much. You don't know how much your words have helped me. You're amazing :)
@bubbles1990 Hi my friend, I understand your feelings and it can be really hard to deal with especially when we needed the someone the most. With that being said, he does not deserve you for quiting you when u needed him to most, go outside and find the one who deserves your laughter and care, hangout with friends, do something fun and really enjoy it.
I too have depression and anxiety for a couple months and too have a difficult relationship, just ended it after 2 years of fighting, it is killing me from time to time but I know I have to move forward no matter what, baby steps, one at a time. I am thankful for the experiences she gave me and grateful for everyone thats support me along the way. It is through my most difficult time I realized who really root for me all these while and I started to spend more time with them now.
You will be alright, embrace the pain, but at the same time, take it as a inner reminder that push you to move forward and become the better of yourself. Life is full of possibilities and surprises, enjoy it.
Cheers
@Kyle133 why did she leave you and how are you dealing with it? I feel so weak for not being able to just move on like others do so easily but I'm so upset I can't forget all the good times. They're always on my mind especially when I close my eyes and it's soul drstroying
@bubbles1990 Hey :) I hope you are doing a bit better since your posting. I just wanted to say that I understand that it is not easy. The first months may be hard for you and that is all the more natural. However keep in mind that these things happen in life and that it is not your fault. Don't blame your previous partner because unknowingly he may have suffered in other ways. I think you should treasure the good years you had with him and accept his need to leave. I am sure you are a strong and independant woman however break ups always takes a tole on the best of us. You shouldn't see this break up as a dead end but an important passage of your life that may get you to a different and surprising future. We are all supporting you if you need anything. Keep yourself strong and smart ;)
@Onewaymyway thank you xx
@bubbles1990
I can totally relate to your situation. My ex boyfriend for over two years moved his new girlfriend n her child into our first house, our blended families new home not even a month after we split. Everytime I woke up I was instantly in tears because I wasnt waking up where I used to call home, couldn't eat, could hardly get outta bed. It was awful.
As time passed I started to come to terms with the fact that if he could walk away from our life for someone else than he just wasnt worth the love I knew I had to give anyway. I KNOW what I bring to the table and aside my anxiety n my mood swings, I got thru each day knowing that he would never be loved as much or as genuinely as he was with me. You do MATTER and one day someone will love you the same in return.
@loyalCar9120 oh that's awful how unkind to move them into your family home :(
I just want to sell the house and try and get over him.the whole time it's there it's reminding me of what my future was meant to be :(
