Love bombed someone and feeling guilty

Below I got my story,please send help me in comments Exactly a year ago, I found myself in a situation that was both new and exciting to me. For the first time in my 21 years, a girl showed real interest in me. We quickly became involved, but as our relationship developed, I noticed potential red flags. Initially, I thought these issues were just cultural differences, but things gradually turned sour, and I felt disrespected. Our relationship reached a critical point after our first kiss, when she hesitated to commit. That hit my ego hard. I became obsessed with her, craving the same level of affection she seemed unable or unwilling to give. Eventually, my obsession seemed to give her the license to disrespect me in ways I couldn't tolerate, so I decided to end things after two to three months. You should know that even before I met her, I was already on medication for depression and ADHD. I thought I had moved on after our breakup, but the day I saw her with someone else, my heart sank. It hurt more than I expected, and I couldn't understand why. I knew I didn't want to go back to her, but I also knew I couldn't stand seeing her with someone else. The frustration was intense; I felt like punching a wall, but I wouldn't let myself do that. A few weeks ago, I learned about love-bombing, and I realized my behavior might have seemed similar, but it was never my intention to hurt her. I genuinely wanted a future with her. To give you a better understanding of my background, the first 20 years of my life were tough. I was obese and dark-toned, which led to a lot of humiliation. Coupled with ADHD, I struggled academically and was under a lot of family pressure. This situation left me underconfident and deeply depressed. During my late teens, I got involved with someone who strung me along for seven months, only to discover she was in a relationship with someone else. This revelation broke me. I became reclusive, stopped socializing, and lost a lot of weight. It was a dark time, but I somehow managed to get to college, where I was diagnosed with severe depression and ADHD. Now, I'm doing somewhat better with my depression, but ADHD is still a challenge. Despite this progress, I'm stuck in a frustrating place. I feel lonely and unable to move forward, but at the same time, I'm convinced that I'm not stuck in the past. Approaching someone new feels almost impossible, leaving me caught between longing for connection and being haunted by my past experiences. I CANT AFFORD THERAPY,PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS THINGS:

• Understanding My Feelings Post-Breakup:

  • I need help understanding why I felt so hurt and heartbroken when I saw my ex with someone new, despite not wanting to get back together with her.

• Dealing with Obsessive Thoughts and Emotions:

  • I'm struggling with obsessive thoughts about my past relationship and need guidance on how to manage and move past these feelings.

• Improving Self-Esteem and Confidence:

  • My past experiences with obesity, dark skin tone, and ADHD have severely impacted my self-esteem. I need help in building confidence and overcoming these deep-seated insecurities.

• Coping with Past Traumas:

  • The experience with someone who led me on and was in another relationship has left deep emotional scars. I need strategies to heal from this trauma.

• Managing ADHD and Depression:

  • While my depression has improved with medication, ADHD continues to be a challenge. I'm looking for effective ways to manage ADHD and its impact on my daily life.

• Navigating Loneliness and the Desire for Connection:

  • I feel stuck in loneliness and am finding it difficult to approach new people. I need advice on how to overcome this barrier and build new relationships.

• Resolving Feelings of Frustration and Anger:

  • I'm dealing with intense feelings of frustration and anger, especially related to my past relationship. I need help in finding healthy ways to process and release these emotions.