Love of my life cheated and left
So I hope you're sitting down for a long story
In my last year of high school, I started a part time job at Canadian Tire, which is a department store for those who don't know. I worked there for about two months, and then one day (this exact date), out of the blue, I got a text message from one of the cashiers. She got my number from a mutual friend. Anyway, we started talking and she asked me out for dinner. We sat in the restaurant talking for so long that they kicked us out at closing time. Go ahead another two weeks, and we had our first kiss in my truck. Three months later, and she's basically living at my house with my family and I. Things were fantastic, we did everything together, were super happy and had huge plans for the future, and never had an issue we couldn't work out within a few minutes. This summer, I left my job at the department store, because my course in college required me to do a four month co-op placement, where I was working 8-6 five days a week. Despite being absolutely exhausted and sore by the end of the day, we still went for dates at least two nights a week, and did anything and everything she wanted to do on weekends. About three months ago, I came home from work one day and the car she drove wasn't in the driveway. I figured "Ok, she's just out with a friend". Went into my house and downstairs into my room, and all of her stuff is gone. She left me. I was at work, and she left me without so much as a goodbye. I found out two weeks later from two very good friends that she cheated on me with somebody I knew had been trying to get with her for months. And then I found out another person. And another. And another. And another. All people I knew, or knew of and had problems with in the past. Including her abusive ex-boyfriend. Because I had another semester of college, I had to go back to the department store...where she was still working. And where two of the people she cheated on me with work. She quit about a month ago, but not before spreading lies about me that almost got me fired, trying to turn everybody against me, and telling everybody six different versions of what happened, all full of holes and lies. Now she's gone, and it's been three months, but I still can't get over her, I can't get out of the financial hole she's put me in, and I have to see her at least one a week with people she's cheated on me with. I don't know what to do any more. I love her, and hate her, and I can feel my sanity slipping away because of this all. She cheated on me and left me after two years of the best relationship a person could ever ask for, and told me it's 100% my fault and that I never put in any effort.
Dear @JPMJ89
I am so sorry to hear that you are hurting right now, I know it's not a very nice feeling, the way you have been treated appears to be very unfair and disrespectful towards you, and I understand this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but I think you are much better off without her, you don't deserve to be hurt the way you have been. You deserve to be loved the way you love, and this is possible for you with a person who will respect you.
We learn a lot from our past relationships, it helps us build a picture for how we want to live our life, what we want and what we don't want, how we treat people and how we want to be treated, these are all reflections we discover through past relationships. In time you will learn from this experience, maybe not right now, but one day you will realise that you were not the perfect match, and you will meet some one who want you for there future.
I wish you the very best of luck, you seem like a really decent fella!! if you would like to chat, please feel free to drop me a message.
Take care mate
@professionalPerspective60
Hey, I'll certainly message you when I have a moment
It's been super hard to try to move past, especially when I see her at least once a week with people she's cheated on me with or sometimes random strangers I've never even seen before.
Everybody always said that would we're the perfect couple that would be together forever, and that if we broke up there would be no hope for anybody. Well...it looks like there's no hope left in this world, by that logic
@JPMJ89
Hey, there is always hope, I promise, you have just lost your a way little, and that's perfectly fine and understandable because your are hurting.
I will look forward to receiving your message and we can talk !🙂
Offline matchmaking making a serious rebound
After nearly 20 years of growth in the online dating/matchmaking industry, offline is making a big comeback. Why online matchmaking is prone to massive fraud, intentional and unintentional. Men complain that women's profile pictures have no resemblance to the way they really look. Both men and women constantly use old photos from 10 to 20 years in the past. Also with people now taking literally thousands of photos of themselves, they have a chance to find one that makes them look really good. If you have 1,000 photos of yourself and pick the one the make you look your best, most likely it not going to be a real representation of yourself. James of Scottsdale, Arizona, was so frustrated about the way women looked that he started asking women to meet him outside the restaurant and then he would sit in his car with binoculars to see if they even came close to looking like their profile picture. If they did not, he would just stand them up.
Men also make themselves sound better physical and economically. The term "$30,000 dollar millionaire" was coined to describe men who drive very high-end cars but are flat broke. Women start dating these men, thinking they are extremely wealthy, then later find out they live at home with their mothers. So there is no wonder many men and women feel like the Internet is just too laced with fraud.
Jenny from Wisconsin says she is frustrated that men online are fixated on women's appearances and have no interest in getting to know the person inside. Dating expert Steven says men's brains are hardwired to look for a mate that will have a high probability of producing and caring for offspring, just as women are hardwired to search for men who can be good providers for the family. Evolutionary biologists have discovered a lot of the physical traits we consider attractive have a sound basis in genetics.
Many websites have now started doing ID verifications, guaranteeing that the person posting the profile is who they say they are, but this only addresses their identity, not their social standing or appearance. Over the years many companies have been trying to use live video chat to help its clients get a real Idea of the persons appearance. But so far, no company has had a great success with this. One of the main reasons is that women tend to surf dating sites at night, after they have come home from work or school. At that point, they have removed their makeup and dress more casually; thus, they do not feel comfortable with live video.
So with so many users dissatisfied with online experience, many users are just giving up online dating, citing too many bad experiences. According to industry experts, as many as 50% of women do not show up for dates made online. So what is the best way to find love? For age groups in the early 20s, social events (work, school, bars, parties, and activities) are still one of the main methods of meeting someone that leads to a serious relationship. These seem to work much less well as men and women get older. When you are in your 30s or 40s, your options decrease, as the people you meet in social environments are more likely to be already in a relationship, disqualified due to personal reasons, have children, pay alimony, medical issues and so on. This group from the mid-30s and up has the hardest time finding love online or in their everyday social life. So what seemed to be a dying industry is now having a rebirth. Matchmakers and speed dating companies are booming. The singles events company Pre Dating now offers over 1,000 speed dating events yearly in the US, some upper-end matchmaking services like Executive Global Match charge from $15,000 to $25,000. It's Just Lunch and Great Expectations start off around $5,000 for arranging dates.
One of the biggest jumps in offline matchmaking is the international matchmaker or foreign bride industry. A Foreign Affair has combined offline with online matchmaking. A unique business, it requires all women to come into a local office in one of thirty different countries. This guarantees the appearance of the women and their identity. The men must fill out a background form. The men can correspond with the women online, but when they are ready to meet, they have the option going on one of the company's group tours and attend several events they call "Socials or Dating on Steroids." These events consist of 20 to 50 men and 200 to 500 women. The men travel in groups to Russia, Ukraine, Asia, and Latin America. All women are prescreened by their local offices. Kenneth Agee, co-founder, says, "This is the ideal situation. We screen the women for looks and sincerity. The women love the events because they know men who travel this far are very serious about finding wives. It is a perfect combination. Just think about the last time you were in a room with hundreds of beautiful single women all looking for love."
Neil Clark Warren, CEO, co-founder and spokesperson for eHarmony, is the most recognized face in the online matchmaking industry. As EHarmony moved back to offline matchmaking, Warren went on Fox News to say, "Let us do all the work. You will never get a rejection letter again. We talk to you before, and we talk to them after, and we get you at least one match per month." The new offline matchmaking service is $5,000 per year with a minimum of 12 matches a year. eHarmony has gone thought several shakeups over the years, but has returned to its roots as a matchmaker service instead of being a dating site.
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JPMJ89 I'm so sorry that you had to go through that :( what she did to you was utterly disrespectful and unmoral. I'm sorry to say this, but you're much better off without her, and you didn't deserve the hurt.
I hope you'll surround yourself with people who are going to lift you up and love you :-) and who'll love you for who you are. Stay strong :-) you're getting there
@TaylorTheLemonSlayer
Thank you for the kind words. Everybody has told me that I deserve better, but it's still so hard and I can't get over it and try to move on on with my life, especially when for some stupid reason, I still love her and miss her immensely. Even though I know she's totally changed and is no longer the person that I fell in love with