Loves me but is tired and scared
We have been together for 9 years. A year ago, I found out my ex was emotionally cheating on me when our relationship had problems. For a year, I couldn't truly forgive him and was sad and in depression. He tried his best to make me happy, make our relationship work but I was scared and repeatedly broke up with him. Our last breakup was 2 months ago and he said he is very tired to continue to try working the relationship and started avoiding me. We finally had a long honest talk two days ago. He regretted his mistake and hated himself for it because it brought us so much pain and made us where we are today. He said he still misses me and loves me. But he is in pain with conflicting emotions of loving me and at the same time feeling tired and scared each time he thinks back of the one year of struggle. I apologized for my repeated breakups and assured him I am truly over the incident and I'm getting counselling on my depression. He said he really wish to get back together but he dare not agree. In the end, we remained broken up. It's breaks my heart to see him in so much pain, from still having strong feelings for me but isn't able to move past being tired and scared. Is there still hope for us to work things out? How can I help him to rebuild trust in us?
@tryingtolivewell
Hey there, thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate you opening up.
I understand that you and your ex have been together for a long time because 9 years is no joke. It sounds like you needed time to get over that incident but you kept on breaking up with him which is totally justified. Anyone in your place me including, would've done the same thing. I also understand that he's scared of heartbreak right now because it might have been tough for both him and yourself to repeatedly go through all that. It's nice to know that you both properly communicated and kept everything out on the table because communication is the most important thing in a relationship and definitely helps solving many issues.
It sounds like he might need a little time right now. Have you considered the option of not putting any labels to your relationship for some time till you both feel comfortable?
Please don't feel like there's no hope, that's definitely not the case especially since he told you that he still has strong feelings for you. There's always hope :) There's a good chance that it might work out.
Here's a link to an article that might be helpful for you:
I really hope all goes well for you. Good luck and take care! 