Messy break up

I've been seeing this guy for almost 4 years, let's call him H. It started as a relationship and turned into a friendship. He had always told me he didn't want to settle down and get married to me but we were good with the situation. He was my best friend and the person I leaned in for everything, he was my support and I became dependent on him. He encouraged me to start dating and I have, I met someone great but there were a few things I told him about the guy that he did not like.

On Friday he said our friendship would now be limited to text, no meeting or calling but he would still be that support. I had many panic and anxiety attacks about this and really struggled but accepted it. Yesterday he visited my him uninvited and told me what a disappointment I am and that I am dead to him and we are done because I would not break up with the new guy. He has now blocked me everywhere and I have done the same. I fell apart but have also realized the level of control he had over me and the dependency I had on him, he often joked that he trained me to beat better person. I am a strong independent person who became someone I don't recognize now.

Told the new guy the general situation and he doesn't want to continue as there is to much drama with H and I can fully understand that.

In 3 days I lost the guy I was seeing and a best friend.

I'm just trying to manage minute to minute with all the emotions, I'm feeling fear, hurt and anger. I'm feeling alone and scared.

I thought I would reach out here, tell my sorry and chat with others.