My able bodied partner asked for a break because he feels trapped by my limitations
Hi I've had a really rough week. My partner of almost a year asked for a break because he said he can't fully love me unless I was an able bodied person who could do physical activities with him. (I have chronic pain and use mobility devices frequently) he specifically said spring and summer are coming up and I want someone who can go adventure with.
Also he thinks I can't love him if I get triggered by him. Yelling is one of my triggers and he raised his voice at me but only because he was playing a stressful video game and that stress came off in his reply and I freaked out and tried to do it privately by going into another room but he insisted on coming in. He also said he feels like he can't break up with me because he doesn't want to be responsible for my suicide.
This all came out of the blue after months of him telling me he wants to help me and asking me to let him help with my physical and mental issues. Idk what to do and thought you all might understand
this is the forth time someone has given up on me since my physical and mental health has declined. He made me believe everything was fine until now. How can I trust anyone will be ok with my limitations?
@Mashedpotato364 That's horrible so sorry to hear that it would be very upsetting and hurtful if he really wanted to help you in any way possible he wouldn't take his game sh!t out on you and he wouldn't have said any of that he's dating you for a reason I he didn't want someone who has a lot of physical pain and mental illness he shouldn't have said yes to becoming partner's he's saying he doesn't want to be blamed for suicide I think he would be blamed any way weather he left or not cause of how he's treating you bd he was the last person to be with you I have a lot of physical health problems and mental illness and if a guy told me what your going through I'd say well you knew this before we became partner's so what's the problem after all this time now you are having second thoughts he should accept you for who you really are I'd say to him well if the situation was spun around and you were in my shoes I wouldn't leave you after all this time I'd stick by you cause that's what partners do have you talked to him how you both feel he should do things that you both can do together can still go on adventures just nothing to rocky or dangerous for you a simple walking track thats good for your mobility Hope all goes well
@BrightRedFlower2322 Thanks for your reply. Yeah he knew all this was going on with me from the very beginning and acted totally like it didn't bother him and he was the one who asked me to be partners. That's what is so confusing about it. Yes I told him I can still do some stuff and we have done easier activities together and I even planned things outdoors last year that he's really into. Thank you for understanding. I just never expected this from him
@Mashedpotato364 Your really welcome so you've put a lot into the relationship and he enjoys all the fun things you plan to do together than I don't see what the issue is if your always doing things together and its what he likes as well then it shouldn't be a problem some men are confusing and annoying and have no idea about much things they can't handle a little stress or much conflicts they can also confuse themselves too ha ha hope all goes well for you hang in there :)
@BrightRedFlower2322
Yeah I think he is just having a lot of doubts and is struggling with the reality of my issues. I'm just not sure if it's worth it to stick around and wait for him to decide if I'm good enough.
@Mashedpotato364
No it Is really not worth it at times but maybe a little time and patients and see what happens my partner tells me he don't need me and says to pack my shit and go I say ok and he has mental illness but sometimes it can be a bit much and I think why do I stay and put up with it, you want to make sure that your loved and cared for all the right reasons maybe give it a little longer if you have doubts because he keeps saying things like that maybe he's doubting something and its on his mind and he let's it out everyone let's things out of there mind differently if you ask him in a simple complex way how he's feeling is there things that he's doubting in life and ask him is he doubting things between you both just keep every thing simple and relaxed men don't like long complicated sentences it jumbles up there mind and makes them more confused men with mental illness or stress can't handle much in there mind either
Good luck hope things are ok