My ex boyfriend and confusion
We were together from October 19th 2012 till October 15th 2014.I stormed out of the house, which we lived together for a 1 1/2 years, after a huge fight. We tried to work it out, but when we didn't he dumped me.
He is 35, I'm 27. When we were together, he had since December 2012, told me he had an engagement ring for me, it washis late grandmother's ring. We talked about getting married and having children together.
He was diagnosed in August of 2014, with depression. He also has diabetes. My uncle died the first 24hrs of us dating. His best friend died that December 2012, his father died that March 2013, and his uncle died that August 2013.
We also met working together and we are also working together in a business venture that he runs. So it's kind of complicated in that sense.
I was told by a mutual friend that when she saw him he looked heartbroken and empty. He wouldn't talk about me or the breakup either. He does want to stay friends and we've tried to work this part out.
What I'm confused about is last week he told me he didn't take dating off the table for us, but he doesn't see us dating in the near future. I'm just utterly confused by this. I've stumbled upon him accidently on dating websites as well.
I'm not sure what to do, since he is the only man I've ever pictured having children with and growing old with. He was like my best friend, my lover, and partner in crime. I have trouble sleeping still and I saw his doppleganger online last week as well!
I never really talk about it and when people bring it up I just tend to brush it off.
I was 16and he was 18 and of course, completely frowned upon at my school. It was a secret at school and we went out for over half a year and I fell head over heels for him and so far dealing with it is breaking me down.
I started dating him in Feb 2014, then he dumped me after a week, and before we were together, I hated his guts, he drove me insane called me 'Becky' which I hate and basically drove me insane, but I felt I had towalk with him because we were always at the same groups etc. So.. umm Feb 9th we got back together, and I've never loved someone, maybe that's why this is so bad. First love is a killer I heard. But.. now he's at uni and has a lovely girlfriend called Jade. and I'm stuck here at this stupid school, waiting for something that has ended and is never coming back and now I feel so lost without him, because he made me who I was and then we had sex and he left and now I constantly think.. maybe he never loved me, maybe he just say all that to get with me and I'm driven insane with all these questions I can't ask him, because I can't be with him, so how am I meant to speak to him about all these things, without ever seeing him umm now been almost a year since I saw him last.
That's my story. Rebeccax