My parents cant stand each other (more hate than love... if you know what I mean)
I dont know how to state this, but has anyone ever reflect your parents marriage on how your own relationship might turn out.....my parents relationship is one I dont want for me..I am not dating anyone at the moment, and sometimes it feels extra harder to you know be in a relationship with someone, to avoid that misery and pain....
I know that my parents relationship is unhealthy and sometimes you dont see the effects of it only when you are placed into a relationship of your own...
I still have things to work on myself..any advice would be nice.....
Not everyone has had a chance to grow up with an example of healthy love and relationship in front of us, and this can often create problems within our relationships. For this reason it would be important to recognize what is good and what is to be avoided, and if we are able to admit that our parents' marriage is not a good example to follow, I would say that we are already at a good point, don't you think? Each experience can teach us a useful lesson. We will probably make mistakes, probably our first relational experiences will not be the best, but whatever happens we will have learned something, especially about ourselves. Do not be afraid, it is among people and building relationships that we know more ourselves, what we tolerate, what we need and what we like, and it is among people that we learn to improve our social skills. If you know you don't want to be in a relationship like your parents', then you won't.
@Lifeonmars787 thank you. Yes, you said some really valid points. There is at least hope at the end of the tunnel..I just got to work on that...thank u again...
@KBeauty12 Yes, my parents are quite rough and toxic too, constantly blowing up at each other for many years, and I have limited contact with them and am trying to assert my boundaries more. I am working with a therapist and feel like I am in a really healthy relationship right now. However even with a very sweet caring partner I feel a lot of anxiety because with my parents I was always anticipating them starting fighting, as it's like their default. I feel like using I statements and practicing communication roleplays with my therapist has helped a lot, but there's still a lot of work around my social anxiety to do.
Sometimes it helps me to focus on more positive friendships I have or seeing friend's relationships that seem healthy to have a better framework of what I want.