My wife wants to end things after 21 years
She wants to leave but we have 2 kids together and have never really had any real problems before. She decided to have kids early in life and now feels as though she has missed out on a lot of things. She believes ending things with me and starting over is best for her. I don't know what to do.
Hello, @Gr8milenko
I'm so sorry to hear about this sudden decision of your wife. It must be really painful and confusing. I guess we are all having some kind of existential crisis in different moments of our lives and that seems to also be the case of your wife.. wanting something else, some excitement is after all a normal thing and platitude can easily instal in a marriage if not handled properly.You could try to suggest her to rebuild your relationship and connection all over again through interesting and intimate activities rather than her leaving and building something new.. after all it was a huge investment of energy and emotion from both of you and she should really consider if she's not making a big mistake. If nothing can change her mind there's not much that you can do except for trying to do the best for your kids and learn to be happy without her and without your family as a whole, which of course is going to be hard, but not impossible.. I hope it will turn out ok for you. Take care!
@cloudTraveler thanks for the comment, I don't have anybody I feel comfortable talking about this to. It's much appreciated.
@Gr8milenko
First off ICP name Awesome!
2nd ive been married for 17 years. I got married at 17 young just like your wife and also 2 kids. 1 boy 1 girl. I thought about calling it quits with my husband before too. We stick together because of communication. Mostly from my husband to be honest. Im a huge introvert that would rather leave the room and sit by myself then fight. Drives him crazy LOL. When we fight and i feel like pulling away he asks me questions. Like "why do you feel like this now, whats different then before, what do you need..." sometimes by the end of all the questions we find out why were mad and make changes from there. He always reminds me why we're together too. Talking it out and trying to keep your cool at the same time can be hard. In fact she may try to push your buttons to push you away more. Im sure shes good at it after 21 years. Still stay calm. Also read the five love languages. That is such a helpful and good book. Wish you all the best and know you're not alone.