Need some perspective
Hello all,
I have cheated on my partner of 7 years and deeply regret it. He forgave me once and then I relapsed. Biggest regret of my life. I love my ex partner more than anything and want to repair my damage with time. Right now we are in no contact other than logistical things. If there are any of you that have been on the other side and able to forgive, could you offer me some insight? I realize I have some work to do and I take full responsibility. I can't lose this man forever.
@claireran87
Hey there! I have been in a similar situation where the relationship ended after I was honest and relayed how I felt. It is difficult because you do love them and want to prove that you love them, but all they can think about is the betrayal. Giving it time and proving that you can be the best you can be is important in this situation. Sometimes looking on the outside and understanding what led you to cheat and what was making you unhappy is also another thing to consider. Maybe it is something about your partner that you are unhappy with and you may not realize this drives the two of you away more. Make sure that your partner understands how you feel and also where you are at, but also listen to what they have to say too. I am not an expert on this topic, but I hope this helps a little!
@reservedFriend2591
Thank you! That's some excellent advice. I'm going to spend this time apart to really try to work on myself and understand the root of my cheating. I hope to get another chance one day, but want to prove to him and myself that I can be better.
@claireran87
Hi Claire. How are you doing? I guess often we have to stop and ask ourselves why? People often jump to the conclusion that it may be the physical act you were seeking but overlook there may be emotional reasons as to why. You may be insecure or seeking a form of attention you feel your relationship lacks. It does not make it acceptable to cheat but often understanding why can make your relationship work, with effective communication, subtle change can make you much happier, much more confident in your own relationship. Here if you need a chat.
@Antcarrier86
i am doing the best I can. It's helped to talk to a therapist on here and do some writing exercises. I have been able to pinpoint some things about myself and our relationship that led me to do this, and altbough it's not an excuse I do feel like I have a clearer mind about it. I will be moving into my own place this weekend and plan to just give my ex space and time to heal, and for me to continue working on myself. The most difficult thing is that I want to be able to work things out and talk about it, but right now he doesn't. I have to respect that. I am trying to remain hopeful but some days it's very hard.
