On and off for 10 yrs

I'm in a relationship with a guy for 10 years on and off he cheated a few times but i keep on accepting him his my high school sweetheart and now he just suddenly gonna drop me off again. It hurts me more than it should I don't know how to pick up all the pieces together and start my new life I always cried because i know how much I love him, I don't know if this is emotional abuse or what. I felt like I'm in deep pain and no one can help me.