Our Breakup. Letting you go
i need to vent on here. i broke up with my boyfriend today and i am just so sad.
at the beginning it was so so so incredibly beautiful, you can not imagine. he was my one and only and i was so in love with him. we spend so so much time together and had such a beautiful relationship. he was the first person to see my scars, he even kissed them and told me they make me look even more beautiful. He was the first person i really loved with all my heart. And i will always do.
But things changed. We changed. And i can only wish that our relationship would be like it was in the beginning. but it is not anymore. there were no sparkles in my eyes when seeing me. the compliments turned into insults. discussions turned into fights.
He was stuck in the past. And i respect that and i know that things have not been easy for him. He was so stuck to the past and holding on to something, so that he was not able anymore to live in the now and appreciate what he has. And with that he did not only loose me, but himself.
he was not able to trust me and open up towards me - and that broke me.
when i told him today how i feel about it, he didnt even bother to fight for me. he gave us up. so i had to end it.
I knew that we would break up soon because i was not happy anymore and he wasnt either. But it just hurts. Because he played such an important role in my life. With him, i have learned to love myself and love life. But i also know that i can not turn back time and hold onto a part of the relationship that isnt there anymore.
I will always love him. Even if we are apart.
@dynamicHemlock1736 *hugs if you are okay with it* Hi Hemlock, I am so sorry to hear about your break up. I'm proud that you are approaching this in a rational, open minded manner. It's great that you are also considering things from your ex's point of view. Even if such matters do make sense, they can still impact us emotionally. Indeed, life is never predictable, and things can change at any time.
I hope venting helped you out. I wish you both the best, and we are always here for you. You do not have to struggle alone. Take care! :)
@dynamicHemlock1736
I'm sorry...I know how it feels to hold onto that hope that maybe this time someone will change and work to save your relationship. Right there now myself. Potentially you leaving will finally be his wake-up call that he needs to change, but then again maybe it won't...and if it isn't, then nothing will and leaving him is the best thing for you, even if it is hard.
Allow yourself to mourn the end of the relationship. Spend your time with people who do show they care about you, and do things that make you feel happy. Only you are in control of your own happiness. No one else should be.