Pent up anxiety due to a break-up
I hate being so mean to the person I broke up with and cant move on or forgive because I have to think and be around her.
We broke up in March 2015, we werent married, but had a child together. I broke up with her because she cheated for the second time. Today, I describe my feelings towards her as a little hate, anger, hurt, and very untruthful. We have a 3 year old together so I will always need to talk with her or see her on occasion. When I do I, I am so guarded and unknowingly speak to her aggressively and most of the time I dont notice it until after the conversation. I am not that type of person and acting like this seems to bring me down or affect me in all areas of my life, from my work to my physical activity, to daily activities. Ive tried doing things like traveling, hard labor, building something, cleaning ect, ect, but it seems to start again during a conversation or seeing her face. Time will heal me, but right now I really want these feelings to go away.
Do you have a journal or a safe place to write down your thoughts? I use an online journal called penzu, and I love it because it doesn't matter where I am, as long as I have internet access I can access my journal. Anyways, the reason why I ask is it seems like there are a lot of things left unsaid and it eats away at us the longer we keep them inside. Would it help you to write a letter, and write down everything you'd say to her if she was standing in front of you? You don't have to give it to her, but sometimes getting our thoughts out and putting them somewhere else prevents them from continuously swirling around in our brain. You could even go a step further and after you've written down all your anger, you could rip up the piece of paper or burn it. It symbolizes that you're letting go of it all.
Well its the same thought/feeling I described above. Its very pointed so its not like I would have mcuh to write down. Is this more about the action of writing it down? Thinking of writing down the same thing multiple times seems to initiate the opposite of what I want to do.
It's the act of getting it out of your head. I know you'll be repeating a lot of what you're thinking, but when it stays up inside of our minds, it just keeps swirling and we become overwhelmed by our thoughts. It's a swirling abyss. By taking those thoughts and putting it somewhere else other than our brain, especially if you follow it up with something symbolic as throwing away that paper or burning it, it acts as a release. And that's what it sounds like you need.
It won't work for everyone, I am aware. But it wouldn't hurt to try, right?
