Post-breakup limbo

My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me about 6 weeks after our relationship became long distance. We were nearly inseparable before we had to move apart and we had already visited each other twice in the first month of long distance. I wasn't expecting for us to end and was devastated that everything we had together was now over. I tried talking through our problems but he ultimately said that it was due to the distance and that he didn't want to put in the effort. (More context: we're both in the Army and it would be at least 4 years until we could fully be together, and that's only if I get out of the Army at that point.) Here's the confusing part... he said he wants to keep talking to me even though we aren't together anymore. At first I go along with it because I hope it'll help us patch things up and we can go back to being together. We acted as if nothing had changed, and neither of us had told anyone we'd broken up yet, but it was eating me away inside. I confronted him about it and told him that it was all or nothing, but ended up with him saying he's not ready to let me go and we went back to the weird limbo of broken-up-but-still-talking. One night I went out with some friends without telling my ex and he saw one transaction on my Venmo account and freaked out on me. He called me a liar and accused me of basically cheating on him with one of our mutual friends. I tried calling him over a dozen times but he wouldn't even hear me out. I told him that this was a group hangout but he didn't bother to listen. Right when I was about to say fuck it and tell him to have a nice life, he told me he loved me. We had never used the L-word with each other even though I knew I loved him early in our relationship. Our argument fizzled out at that point and we confessed our love to one another. The following week or so it was like we never broke up, we'd facetime each other and say I love you like how I always wanted. One day he texted me and said, "I know we've been really nice lately but this doesn't change how I feel about this whole thing." I asked if he wanted me to stop being nice to him and he said no but it started a downhill effect that I'm currently at the bottom at. In the past week, he's been too busy to talk to me most days and won't even tell me beforehand what he's doing. When he finally does text back, he seems distant and brushes me off whenever I'm trying to be sweet or flirty. He even told me one time he straight up didn't want to talk and that hurt. Yesterday he told me that he's been keeping himself busy to take his mind off how much he misses me and it's okay for him to have some space and do his own thing. I just feel like he's putting me on the backburner and I'm starting to feel neglected. This isn't the first time I've felt like I was putting more effort into the relationship, but now that we're broken up, I don't know how to address my expectations. I'm at the end of my rope here... I keep asking him why he wants to keep talking to me if he keeps ignoring me and doesn't see us getting back together right now. I'm sad most days, crying myself to sleep sometimes, and still haven't told my friends or family that we broke up yet. I still love him very much and before we broke up, I thought this was the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Now I feel alone and confused and frustrated at everything. I feel ashamed that my relationship failed and wonder if there's something wrong with me and that's why it wasn't worth the effort to continue pursuing a relationship with me. Any advice for this heartbroken girl?