Question: how do I love me?
I moved across the country while in a serious relationship. We ended things and said we would wait until 2020 to graduate college and be together again. Since then, Ive been obsessed with getting his attention. In any way possible. Its chased him away that past few times but he has come back every time bc we love each other. LONG STORY SHORT, hes living his life rn and I have no idea how to live mine. I live in California, not a lot of people are open minded to making friends ESPECIALLY at my age. I was going to school online. And live in a town where they just opened Walmart within the last 4 years. Anyways, Im in therapy, and I have tried EVERY distraction possible to get my mind off of him and to fight to urge in contacting him. I know I should just drop him and leave it all alone. Ive tried. Its complicated.. but i have lost myself through all of this and have found that he loved me when I loved me. I dont love myself. Idk how to love myself and I know that sounds weak. But Im very broken. Im aware Im broken and Ive been learning to be okay with it. Its really hard.. all of this is and has been. I dont have any girlfriends and I know thats what I need bc I keep trying to move on and guys here are just.. no. Im going to let him chase me. So please help me just LOVE ME.. I dont know what to do. But I try to take it lightly bc people pray for the chaos I am in right now.. help😭
@emotionjet1taylor
Hi emotionjet1taylor.
I've been in a similar situation. Sometimes, when we're faced with such condition, we tend to focus too much on the 'extra big problem' at hand. I know it's hard to distract yourself and finally live your life completely until you meet your partner again, and usually it takes time. As for me, it took me almost a whole year to finally move on. What I did was getting myself busy with my work and focusing on things that I can control. I love to eat, so I started becoming a foodie and trying out different kinds of food at restaurants and reviewing them on a certain mobile food review app. My job also requires me to almost fully concentrate from 9 to 5. In time, I managed to get over the overwhelming feelings. Perhaps you could try shifting your focus to the business you have currently. It's hard, I know, but again, time heals all wounds.
Trust me, it's amazing how we, humans, can adapt to our situation.
In case distractions don't help, why don't you try to ask him if it's possible to have a video call or something like that regularly? Perhaps once a week. Even though that doesn't completely solve the problem, at least it eases you emotionally.
Hope this helps.
@WorrisomeGuy
this could sound weird as well, he has a girlfriend right now. Of almost a year. To fill a void. The last time I talked to him was the middle of December. Ive tried messaging him since and he doesnt reply which to me seems that hes with her so I back off. The last message I sent him was the 31st saying I know its Been frustrating. Im sorry Ill see you in a year and he still didnt respond. People keep telling me the more you want him the less he wants you so Im going to let him chase me. Does any of this sound naive or anything