Rebuilding or Treading water

My boyfriend and i have broken up multiple times due to his cheating or lying. We've been trying to rebuild and make things better for a while now, sometimes it feels really great and other times it feels like I'm drowning. Little things that used to not bother me now do and I've never felt this insecure in my life.

I really want to believe that things are on the right track because i do really care about him and want to believe he feels the same. He has been sacrificing so much and taking steps to go to therapy himself. It's just so hard to trust and to feel normal again.

We talk about the future and plan out our lives. Sometimes it feels so good and sometimes i feel broken and hopeless.