Recently filed for divorce.

Hello. I'm new here and recent filed for divorce with my husband. We've been together nearly 8 years and married almost 4 of those years. Last year I finally opened my eyes to the fact that I was being verbally abuse with regards to my looks and weight. We went to therapy and everything seemed to be going better but in truth we were both walking on egg shells. He was keeping his mouth shut for not wanting to say the wrong thing and I was afraid to be myself and retreated into my own mind. My confidence was already shattered and slowly anxiety took over. Last month we got into an argument where I finly admitted that I wasn't happy and needed to work on myself. He admitted that he's come to the realization that he wants kids and a family, which has never been on the table for us since before we got married. We filed for divorce a few weeks ago and will be finalizing soon. In the mean time, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be feeling outside of crying at every little thing. Shutting down in front of my friends and not wanting to burden them with the same things over and over. No I'm not okay. Yes I know this is for the best. I know I'll be stronger in the end. Etc. Etc. There's only so many times I feel like I can keep a fake smile on.