Scared I'm Chasing my Boyfriend away
So, I know the title is misleading but it might result as such and I have to be ready for that. My beau and I have been together for 5 years and between house and work he's incredibly exhausting and I haven't been as support as I should be. I make more shit about me than I should. I'm also a codependent fuck nugget because my own thing. So he wants me to go home and go on a journey of self discovery. He's not wrong. I figured out a lot today and I'm a real hot mess. I'm not surprised he's been feeling disconnected for almost a year. Probably is, he didn't tell me he was feeling this way. So now amidst one of the scariest times in our lives I'm going home for a month to give him space without knowing whether or not if we're going to be together when I come back. I'm terrified. But I'm starting on my self journey already but I don't know if it's too late or not and again I'm really scared.
@Cinematicsweeti
Hi, my name is OriginalBeauty9103 and welcome to the 7 cups of Tea! I am an active listener and I am here to assist you wit any help possible. What I am hearing is that you have been dating your boyfriend for five years and there has been conflict between the two of you. Most importantly, you have been disconnected with yourself and that he told you that you should go home to get back to you. And your result is that you are a hot mess, in better words, a bad wreck. And you are asking that if it is too late to work on yourself?
First, you do need to get to a place to yourself because if you continue this path of not taking care of self first, loving yourself, and harming yourself in all aspects such as mentally, emotionally, physcially, and spiritually...you will not getter better. During this pandemic, people that are in relationships are quick to disconnect because of the circumstances of not working, online classes, wearing masks, family is getting (mostly elderly people), social distancing, and lack of motivation. This pandemic has been us in a mental prison state and it is fine. I believe that is what you are going through because you may be used to independence and that since of our current circumstance, you have lost it. Codependence is a drug if you do not learn how to stop controlling others and getting upset if that person do not do what you say.
Second, It is never too late to get back to you. You ALWAYS come first. If you do not put yourself first, it will be easy to lose yourself in any situation and any problem that occurs. That does not have a time limit. Work on you as much as possible. I learned this from one of the listeners on this website: you came on this alone and you will leave this world alone. Choose whatever makes you happy but ONLY you have to choose to make yourself happy...NO ONE ELSE! List out your pros and cons in your relationship and getting better for yourself and come to a conclusion that will benefit your needs.
I hope that helps. Feel free to reach out to me if you want to continue to talk in this conversation!
Thanks for sharing your story!
OriginalBeauty9103
